First attempt

[Bendavis]

[b] 11 Things I Hate About Myself[/b]

I hate the way I let you down,
And all the promises I made.
I hate that when you trusted me,
I gave you reasons to be afraid.

I hate the ways I made you cry,
the hurt and all the rest.
I hate that I gave you my worst,
when you deserved my best

I hate the way I chose to drink,
When you were begging me to change.
I hate the times I wasted away,
And always stayed the same.

I hate the way I took you for granted,
And thought you’d always stay.
I hate my never made time for,
And let the moments slip away.

I hate that I can’t change the past,
Or take back all I put you through.
I hate that it took losing you,
To see things I failed to do.

But mostly,

I hate that I made you feel unloved,
 loving you was never hard.

Not even close.

Not even a little bit.

Not even at all.

[matsunosuperfan]

This is earnest and vulnerable which is always to be commended. Probably the two biggest things some readers may struggle with are the use of Standard Meter, and the static content. 

The standard meter (4/3 or 4/4) can feel kinda played out, and sometimes weirdly has the side effect of trivializing the tone. This is because the same meter is widely used for nursery rhymes. Of course it didn't stop Emily Dickinson but worth thinking about as a potential formal tension.

Meanwhile, the poem doesn't really go anywhere - after the first few lines it's established that "I feel bad about how I treated you" and this remains the thrust throughout. The specific apologies - making you cry, drinking too much, breaking promises, not trying hard enough - are all pretty generic reasons for a relationship to sour. So it ends up feeling too universal and abstract to pack much punch. I can tell the speaker feels deeply, but I don't really feel much reading it.

I think what could elevate this is for the poem to somehow surprise us. Maybe the speaker seems to just be giving an expected litany of mea culpas, but then the "most of all" is something we didn't see coming, and emphasizing it reveals something particular to this speaker's state of mind or history with the beloved.

e.g. "most of all, I hate that I will never again pull into the drive-in with the windows down and wonder if I'm smelling autumn leaves and popcorn, or the traces of your hair" type shi

[wasellajam]

[b] 11 Things I Hate About Myself[/b]

I hate the way I let you down,
And all the promises I made.
I hate that when you trusted me,
I gave you reasons to be afraid.

I hate the ways I made you cry,
the hurt and all the rest.
I hate that I gave you my worst,
when you deserved my best

I hate the way I chose to drink,
When you were begging me to change.
I hate the times I wasted away,
And always stayed the same.

I hate the way I took you for granted,
And thought you’d always stay.
I hate my never made time for,
And let the moments slip away.

I hate that I can’t change the past,
Or take back all I put you through.
I hate that it took losing you,
To see things I failed to do.

But mostly,

I hate that I made you feel unloved,
 loving you was never hard.

Not even close.

Not even a little bit.

Not even at all.

Hi and welcome to the Pen.

For me, the somewhat consistent meter pulled me along allowing me to read all the way through. I think the change up at the end aids the poem. You'll find a thread on Meter in the important Threads of this forum.

While the poem is nicely clear for me it sits on the surface, a common story told plainly. I never get a sense of how the Narrater feels under the sorry and never get a feel for their lost love. You might try to take a stab at taking the poem deeper by adding a remembered image or comparing the situation to something we wouldn't ordinarily think of.

You've got something to works with, I hope you enjoy the site. Please don't forget to leave a meaningful comment for someone else, reading some of the poems might also help you with yours.