The Venusian

[alonso ramoran]

Through nights long enough
to circle the source
of our being, despite remaining
untouched by other bodies
of consequence, I am left
to rediscover, time and time again,
a likeness in our solitude.

Because my sky is a barren womb,
the only satellite begotten
I can confess a language to
is the one I dream about in sulfur.

Yet still you broadcast your study
of my desolation. In what
way do I appear to you,
as you do to me, that you can distance yourself
from your own divinity?
There is the madness

that frightens the viridescence
from your terrain. In the protracted absence
of your song, it is my waiting
that you gaze upon, my believing that
you are as you were, a
small bright deity of love.

[dukealien]

Through nights long enough
to circle the source
of our being, despite remaining
untouched by other bodies
of consequence, I am left
to rediscover, time and time again,
a likeness in our solitude.

Because my sky is a barren womb,
the only satellite begotten
I can confess a language to
is the one I dream about in sulfur.

Yet still you broadcast your study
of my desolation. In what
way do I appear to you,
as you do to me, that you can distance yourself
from your own divinity?
There is the madness

that frightens the viridescence
from your terrain. In the protracted absence
of your song, it is my waiting
that you gaze upon, my believing that
you are as you were, a
small bright deity of love.

In moderate critique, I'm not sure exactly what this is about, but love it anyway.

First stanza:  describing conditions on Venus, from the POV of a native or at least a dweller.  "Likeness in our solitude" would argue against this, but from afar Earth would seem noisy but accompanied only by an obviously barren moon.  And such a diaphanous atmosphere!  "Bodies of consequence" - all she's experienced is a few small Soviet probes that expired almost instantly - pebbles thrown, weakly, by an impossible lover against her window.

Second stanza:  she wants to communicate.  But her atmosphere's so thick, her heat beneath it so intense,  there's no outlet.  The dream-suitor is, presumably, Earth.  This stanza's construction makes it hard to puzzle out; a less literal translation from the Venusian would help.

Third stanza:  she's annoyed about the probes - even the radar tingle has tailed off.  Do you still care?  Did you ever?  Or was it all in her imagination - setting up the reveal in the last stanza.

Final stanza:  the reveal  - of course she sees Earth as a god, just as Earth saw her as a goddess.  A bright disk, oddly blue, with a puzzling distemper of green alternating between the hemispheres.   Her optics aren't precise enough to see those bright patches that appear on his night side.

On the whole, I like this very much (despite being Martian, myself, and feeling a bit spurned in favor of the nearer neighbor).  The wording is a bit convoluted in spots (especially S.2) but always appropriately dreamy.  Line breaks are effective (...by other bodies/of consequence for example).

There's a little confusion between Venusian (an inhabitant) and Venus the planet as speaker.  Not sure how, or if this should be resolved; leaving it ambiguous or subject to interpretation is fine, really.

Much enjoyed and slightly understood, maybe.  Thanks for posting.