I Have the Rest of My Life to Try

[Mic]

I have the rest of my life to try

I’m not good at cooking, 
But I am at hoping 
That the cuttings of onions 
In half-full mugs 
Will come back to 
Give me another chance.

[wasellajam]

I Have the Rest of My Life to Try

I’m not good at cooking, 
But I am at hoping 
That the cuttings of onions 
In half-full mugs 
Will come back to 
Give me another chance.

Hi, Mic, I got a strong image of the cuttings and grief, rebirth and second chances. The title is a bit wordy.

I think L5 is weak, "back" would be a stronger break, as would a switch to "onion cuttings".
Not sure if the second chance could be implied or switched to an image or left as is.

As your poem is one sentence I'm curious as to why you used all the caps.

Thanks for posting

[milo]

Hello and welcome to the pen!

I Have the Rest of My Life to Try

I’m not good at cooking, 
But I am at hoping 
That the cuttings of onions 
In half-full mugs 
Will come back to 
Give me another chance.

This poem reads almost like an extended koan.  I don't know if I just read it fast the first few times but it took me a minute to get it.  It makes a pretty plain statement - "I am not good at cooking" - not confusing, easy enough, no sense reading too much into it.  There are a lot of people who are not good at cooking which seems such a mundane yet fundamental human ability so to accept that one is not good at it is like saying - I am not a whole human.  This could be seen as defeatist - giving up on being human.

The turn comes though with the concept that even once cut and eaten, onions can regrow.  This is a pretty positive turn.  

As far as the mechanics - I don't think the title is doing you any favors though I guess it echoes the turn.

The poem itself, short as it is, could still be trimmed more.  Also, the line breaks don't seem to be doing much work  - looking specifically at the one on "to"

Anyway, thanks for posting

[Magpie]

I have the rest of my life to try

I’m not good at cooking, 
But I am at hoping 
That the cuttings of onions 
In half-full mugs 
Will come back to 
Give me another chance.

This gets better with each read. I agree that the title is not right, it does the work of the poem before the first read. A well chosen title can help a poem.

The use of capitals at the beginning of each line is not necessary and somewhat distracts from a fluent read.

The opening line is a good start. 

Could 'cuttings of onions' be condensed to 'onion cuttings' - not such a big deal though.

Is 'mugs' at odds with the upbeat optimism of 'half-full' -- or is this intentional for a reason. 'mug' also having two meanings as in 'fool' -- 'optimistic fools' ?? is that the intention?

'will come back' -- may seem odd as cuttings don't come back they grow

The last line is bit like the title in that it leaves the reader in no doubt this is an analogy. Whereas the omission of this line lets the reader make that connection for themselves.

Just a few thoughts,

I like short poems like this, I can't help but want to make them shorter most of the time though.

Cheers for the read