Window to the Universe

[Medslijun]

Why am I here?
What is my purpose
In a universe
So big
Its presence
Forces me to my knees
 
I sit in a field
Where the wind
Murmurs in the grass
And the birds laugh
And the trees applaud,
All of them
A patient audience
As I question my place
In this world;
They don’t pry
 
After a while
I look up
And the stars cry out in the silent night
And ask me to listen
 
They say
The beauty of the universe
Would pass quietly by
Without me.
They tell me
That I was one of them
Long ago
 
I see my reflection
In them
As I look up,
My eyes windows
Illuminating my heart
With the moon’s light
 
And I cry
Because they are right
 
And the heavens
Cry with me
In their own way
 
I think
 
But I don’t cry
For too long
And how could I
Because when I look around
The universe takes away
My breath
Once again.

[wasellajam]

Hi and welcome, some notes:

Why am I here?
What is my purpose
In a universe
So big
Its presence
Forces me to my knees
Starting with the questions seems weak, more tell than show.
 
I sit in a field
Where the wind
Murmurs in the grass Possibly through instead of in
And the birds laugh
And the trees applaud, What does "and the" add?
All of them
A patient audience
As I question my place
In this world; You might think of a more original way to say this.
They don’t pry
 
After a while What does this add, how did that time feel?
I look up
And the stars cry out in the silent night
And ask me to listen
 
They say
The beauty of the universe
Would pass quietly by
Without me.
They tell me
That I was one of them
Long ago
It's hard to reconcile the weight of once being a star with the nonexistence before it.
 
I see my reflection
In them
As I look up, Reflection feels off.
My eyes windows cliche
Illuminating my heart
With the moon’s light
 
And I cry
Because they are right Right about you once being a star or that of course the world would go on without you?
 
And the heavens
Cry with me
In their own way
 
I think ???
 
But I don’t cry
For too long
And how could I
Because when I look around
The universe takes away
My breath
Once again.

For me, there was a lot of just telling me instead of creating images that made me feel what the Narrator was feeling.
Two general points: Does the capitalization of every line add anything? The punctuation is erratic, you might try adding full punctuation or removing it all and see what you think. Hope this helps, thanks for posting.