By a Meadow Gate

[gruff]

[snip]

[dukealien]

By a Meadow Gate

Already, the hum, drums  "Already" is a good way to engage the reader, start in the middle of action to be described or imagined later
heard out on the way  nice ambiguity - is it the speaker on *his* way, or "way" as the lane or road nearby

like some copper mill, I tolled  
heating up its furnace  I read this as implied "heating up (its) furnace" for which tolling is a good description of how a big boiler bongs, slow metronome

nodding donkeys bray  implied (at), but not necessarily...
the rising of the sun  which leads to the image of the herd (line 2 homonym)  actually bringing sunrise to pass

In basic critique, this accomplishes a lot with simple, somewhat disconnected descriptions:  it definitely shows without telling (a compliment derived from the admonition "show, don't tell").  The title is not necessary, but does provide an initial image; it doesn't directly connect with the body of the poem, but does contrast in its stationary nature with the "Already" motion that follows.

I like this.  The phrases mostly describe sounds; perhaps (visual) images could be added to clarify gleam of copper, dewy wire meadow fence, shaggy  texture of donkeys.   As a tone picture, it's effective but could use at least the hint of a story connecting its sonic episodes or environments.  Or you could add more sounds to build a story (crackle of straw under mill-worker's brogans, creak as the meadow gate closes).

[milo]

Hello

Honestly, I am not great with short forms, but I did want to leave some comments, if they are of no use to you feel free to discard

By a Meadow Gate

Already, the hum, drums
heard out on the way

like some copper mill, I tolled
heating up its furnace

nodding donkeys bray
the rising of the sun

hum, drums - it is interesting because of course it summons "hum drums", initially I would say add separation to prevent the metaphor but I am not so sure, you may be gaining some efficiency by indirectly summoning them.  If not, consider, "already, the hum, the drums"

of course, it does bring to light that "out" on the second line is serving no purpose (unless I am missing it)

S2 interests me mostly because of "tolled' - once again, it immediately brings to mind "toiled" so there is an efficiency because you get the benefit of both.  "Tolled" in this case - exacted a tax on . . . I considered many direct objects here - a laborer's body, I am not sure. Of course if you initially had "tolled at" and decided to trim it, suddenly it would take on a different meaning.

I don't have much to add, the end it lost on me

Thanks for posting

[gruff]

[snip]