12-01-2025, 03:48 AM
Better Sleep
Writing about not sleeping at two AM
is as fruitless as getting back to bed.
How long to I have to lay with thoughts
tragidies stacking in my head.
Manic mistakes and rambles fueled
by miss medication, exposing a side
of me that should not have existed.
Underwater my mindfulness drowned.
The imagery of insanity as if fantasy.
Endless delusions hiding behind illusions
the director of my demise is I.
Actor, director, villain, hero, then victim.
Manic self was nightmare fuel.
Saved for the odd night, it sucks
how my living truth is a validation
of consequences of my worst dream.
Healing has been slow, and it's weird
that I stopped dreaming about my mental illness.
Now I sleep flying away wishing for better days,
living a life where I didn't go insane.
Writing about not sleeping at two AM
is as fruitless as getting back to bed.
How long to I have to lay with thoughts
tragidies stacking in my head.
Manic mistakes and rambles fueled
by miss medication, exposing a side
of me that should not have existed.
Underwater my mindfulness drowned.
The imagery of insanity as if fantasy.
Endless delusions hiding behind illusions
the director of my demise is I.
Actor, director, villain, hero, then victim.
Manic self was nightmare fuel.
Saved for the odd night, it sucks
how my living truth is a validation
of consequences of my worst dream.
Healing has been slow, and it's weird
that I stopped dreaming about my mental illness.
Now I sleep flying away wishing for better days,
living a life where I didn't go insane.