The Sieved Scales

[themanofmanyways]

A snow moon eyes the spring thickets,
Two worlds exist, in mirrored aim
Wood kings skulk to singing crickets
Alone and proud, of regal frame

The swift prize takes to frantic flight
Its hinds ache, breath burning with flame
Joy and misery, bound in rite,
Together meld in sacred game

The game ends; one's eyes lose light
Two worlds existed. One remains.
To live to take, to live again.
To wheel the world through costly gain


I would also like to know if the "burns" sounds better than "burning" to you all.

[RichardBosten]

A snow moon eyes the spring thickets,
Two worlds exist, in mirrored aim
Wood kings skulk to singing crickets
Alone and proud, of regal frame

The swift prize takes to frantic flight
Its hinds ache, breath burning with flame
Joy and misery, bound in rite,
Together meld in sacred game

The game ends; one's eyes lose light
Two worlds existed. One remains.
To live to take, to live again.
To wheel the world through costly gain


I would also like to know if the "burns" sounds better than "burning" to you all.

 

I think I like burning . Either one works but burning just feels right.
I enjoyed this. 
I will leave more detailed critiques to the more experienced .