Flame

[Dris]

Though I was tossed into the fire,
I kindled one of my own.
It burned brighter
than the one I walked through,
bringing me out of its beastly jaws.
Emerging triumphantly,
I screamed,

"I survived,
I survived"

A crowd clapped and cheered
and I heard them cry,
"Fighter,
survivor,
ember of Hope,
warrior of Pain."

Though they cringed while I burned.

Deaf to their cheering,
I was.
For I knew what they shun.
And so I let it fade away,
both crowd and flame,

Ex lovers.
Old friends.
Old identities.
Like the shifting of the seasons.
Like metamorphosis.
Like metanoia.

Alone, now.
I looked at my armour.
Ripped skin,
singed hair,
broken bones --
asking myself

What purpose does this serve?
What war am I fighting?
What kingdom is this?

Singed hair,
broken bones,
ripped skin --
but pain I could feel no more.

Like a third degree burn.

And so I thundered,
Back into the fading light.

Ripped skin, --
no, Calloused now.
Broken bones --
no, Mended now.
Singed hair --
no, Shedded now.

Like the shifting of the seasons.
Like the shedding of a caterpillar's skin.
Like metamorphosis.
Like metanoia.

The flame shifted into the shape of a starving dog,
Cowering away from me
as I ran towards it.
There was something in its eyes --
I think it was fear
as if horrified that I did not crumble
into ash within its flame.

I grabbed it by its throat,
throttled it from side to side --
its eyes in a frenzy --
No --
my Face in a frenzy.

"You will not leave me feeling nothing"
I cried,
"not after walking through the fire.
How can I see to my wounds,
if I cannot even feel the pain.

You will not dull my light,
and your flame will never outshine mine

I am thundering, thundering back into your fading light
To claim back what was once mine.

With every single dance
laugh
poem
game
thundering back
your flame and mine
one 
now the same."

[fruitbap]

Though I was tossed into the fire,
I kindled one of my own. - Good start!
It burned brighter
than the one I walked through,
bringing me out onto the other side.- This line feels a bit clunky. How is the second fire protecting the speaker? Does it behave like a shield? Could be more specific/elaborate on the metaphor here instead, perhaps. Or, simply make it shorter, e.g., "Emerging triumphant, I screamed,"
Triumphantly,
I screamed,

"I survived,
I survived!"

A crowd clapped and cheered
and I heard them cry,
"Fighter,
survivor,
ember of Hope,
warrior of Pain."

Though they cringed while I burned.

Deaf to their cheering,
I was.
For I knew what they 'boo'. This doesn't land for me. I'm not sure what the speaker is referring to. 
And so I let it fade away,
both crowd and flame.,
Just as everything does
over time. I would cut these last two lines. Your meaning is clear without them.

Ex lovers.
Old friends.
Old identities.
Like the shifting of the seasons.
Like the shedding of a caterpillar's skin.
Like metamorphosis.
Like metanoia. I love "metanoia." I think that and "metamorphosis" are your strongest two examples here -- though the latter is a bit redundant with the caterpillar example. Could simplify this whole section: "Ex lovers, old friends, old identities. / Metamorphosis, metanoia."

Alone, now.
I looked at my armour.
Ripped skin,
singed hair,
broken bones -- 
asking myself

What purpose does this serve?
What war am I fighting?
What kingdom is this? I think, given your previous use of punctuation, these three lines would work better ending in question marks. 

Singed hair,
broken bones,
ripped skin --
but pain I could feel no more.

Like a third degree burn.

And so I thundered,
Back into the fading light.

Ripped skin, --
no, Calloused now.
Broken bones --
no, Mended now.
Singed hair --
no, Shedded now.

Like the shifting of the seasons.
Like the shedding of a caterpillar's skin.
Like metamorphosis.
Like metanoia. 

The flame shifted into the shape of a starving dog,
Cowering away from me
as I ran towards it.
There was something in its eyes --
I think it was fear
as if horrified that I did not crumble
into ash within its flame. 

I think a return to the crowd who cheered for the speaker earlier in the poem might serve you better than the new form of a dog. The crowd consumed by flame, assumes the shape of a dog, or something. At least, connecting the dog somehow to one or all of the parties mentioned earlier in the poem (is the dog the manifestation of ex lovers? ex friends? an illness? general worldly suffering?). Right now the dog feels a bit random to me. 

Alternatively, you could mention the dog earlier in the poem---perhaps the original flame had jaws like a dog? And now the same beast has returned again? 

I grabbed it by its throat,
throttled it from side to side --
its eyes in a frenzy --
No --
my Face in a frenzy.

"You will not leave me feeling nothing,"
I cried,
"not after walking through the fire.
How can I see to my wounds,
if I cannot even feel the pain?

You will not dull my light,
and your flame will never outshine mine --

I am thundering, thundering back into your fading light
To claim back what was once mine.

With every single dance
laugh
poem
game
thundering back
your flame and mine
one 
now the same." I would use a hard stop here.

Thanks for sharing! I hope my critique is helpful for you

[Dris]

Though I was tossed into the fire,
I kindled one of my own. - Good start!
It burned brighter
than the one I walked through,
bringing me out onto the other side.- This line feels a bit clunky. How is the second fire protecting the speaker? Does it behave like a shield? Could be more specific/elaborate on the metaphor here instead, perhaps. Or, simply make it shorter, e.g., "Emerging triumphant, I screamed,"
Triumphantly,
I screamed,

"I survived,
I survived!"

A crowd clapped and cheered
and I heard them cry,
"Fighter,
survivor,
ember of Hope,
warrior of Pain."

Though they cringed while I burned.

Deaf to their cheering,
I was.
For I knew what they 'boo'. This doesn't land for me. I'm not sure what the speaker is referring to. 
And so I let it fade away,
both crowd and flame.,
Just as everything does
over time. I would cut these last two lines. Your meaning is clear without them.

Ex lovers.
Old friends.
Old identities.
Like the shifting of the seasons.
Like the shedding of a caterpillar's skin.
Like metamorphosis.
Like metanoia. I love "metanoia." I think that and "metamorphosis" are your strongest two examples here -- though the latter is a bit redundant with the caterpillar example. Could simplify this whole section: "Ex lovers, old friends, old identities. / Metamorphosis, metanoia."

Alone, now.
I looked at my armour.
Ripped skin,
singed hair,
broken bones -- 
asking myself

What purpose does this serve?
What war am I fighting?
What kingdom is this? I think, given your previous use of punctuation, these three lines would work better ending in question marks. 

Singed hair,
broken bones,
ripped skin --
but pain I could feel no more.

Like a third degree burn.

And so I thundered,
Back into the fading light.

Ripped skin, --
no, Calloused now.
Broken bones --
no, Mended now.
Singed hair --
no, Shedded now.

Like the shifting of the seasons.
Like the shedding of a caterpillar's skin.
Like metamorphosis.
Like metanoia. 

The flame shifted into the shape of a starving dog,
Cowering away from me
as I ran towards it.
There was something in its eyes --
I think it was fear
as if horrified that I did not crumble
into ash within its flame. 

I think a return to the crowd who cheered for the speaker earlier in the poem might serve you better than the new form of a dog. The crowd consumed by flame, assumes the shape of a dog, or something. At least, connecting the dog somehow to one or all of the parties mentioned earlier in the poem (is the dog the manifestation of ex lovers? ex friends? an illness? general worldly suffering?). Right now the dog feels a bit random to me. 

Alternatively, you could mention the dog earlier in the poem---perhaps the original flame had jaws like a dog? And now the same beast has returned again? 

I grabbed it by its throat,
throttled it from side to side --
its eyes in a frenzy --
No --
my Face in a frenzy.

"You will not leave me feeling nothing,"
I cried,
"not after walking through the fire.
How can I see to my wounds,
if I cannot even feel the pain?

You will not dull my light,
and your flame will never outshine mine --

I am thundering, thundering back into your fading light
To claim back what was once mine.

With every single dance
laugh
poem
game
thundering back
your flame and mine
one 
now the same." I would use a hard stop here.

Thanks for sharing! I hope my critique is helpful for you

Very helpful! Thank you. I will edit my poem soon using your recs.