My first foray: Life pangs

[theafricanmillennium]

The poetry of life
Finding meaning in strife
Finding God in strife
Brokenly screeching “Where are You? Why me?”
Suffering through the petty
Steadily wallowing
Through every step, through every season
My Lord, there must be a reason
Or not, perhaps displeasure is the intention


Tentatively, brokenly murmuring
“What love, compellingly deep
What faith, what light
The burden to strive
Because I am alive?
Is that, why me?”

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This was done in one sitting, off the top of my head, to get started, so all constructive criticism is welcome!

[CRNDLSM]

IIn a critique forum you must post a critique of another poem within the forum before posting your own, please catch up

[adagio]

I enjoyed the first lines:

The poetry of life
Finding meaning in strife
Finding God in strife

I have to say however that after that I do not see much development in your poem. It also feels a bit abstract. I think it would help to be more specific, e.g. what sort of strife you are talking about here, or why your protagonist thinks they've been singled out.

The line

Or not, perhaps displeasure is the intention

offers an interesting "plot twist", but again, it's not developed any further.

Overall, I feel that if you only want to ask the eternal questions here, then this poem could be much shorter -- I guess in this case I would try to make it concise and catchy. Or, if you do want to explore these questions in more depth, that would be very interesting as well.