Questions on war
#1
When was the first world war, ma?
A century ago. 
Before there were no world wars, ma?
No they were too small. 

What's bigger than a world war, ma?
A war of worlds and hope,
a present killing future lives
destroying what's been known.

But why would people do that, ma,
't of greed or are they forced?
They simply do not think enough,
'bout what their actions cause.

What can I do to change it, ma?
The world is large and old,
to change the course of nature is
to change the stories told.

Both good and bad agree on that,
the difference lies of course
in what will be achieved with it, 
is't life and peace or war?
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#2
(05-29-2025, 08:59 AM)Natangwe Wrote:  When was the first world war, ma?
A century ago. 
Before there were no world wars, ma?
No they were too small. 

What's bigger than a world war, ma?
A war of worlds and hope,
a present killing future lives
destroying what's been known.

But why would people do that, ma,
't of greed or are they forced?
They simply do not think enough,
'bout what their actions cause.

What can I do to change it, ma?
The world is large and old,
to change the course of nature is
to change the stories told.

Both good and bad agree on that,
the difference lies of course
in what will be achieved with it, 
is't life and peace or war?

Good poem. It’s engaging, begins well, and ends well.

“The world is large and old,
to change the course of nature is
to change the stories told.”

Is clever.

Improvements:-

 I’d use something other than “nature”. You’re talking about human nature, not the natural world. But the line says “nature”, probably because you were trying to get it to fit.

So use a different two syllable word like “mankind” or “history” or something like that

A poem of this sort - with a repeating question and answer four line pattern - is better with rhyme and a regular meter. The rhyming here is irregular. Irregular rhyme is good in poems meant to sound like natural speech, but the sing song nature here isn’t natural speech, so the irregularity stands out.
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#3
(05-29-2025, 08:59 AM)Natangwe Wrote:  When was the first world war, ma?
A century ago. 
Before there were no world wars, ma?
No they were too small. 

What's bigger than a world war, ma?
A war of worlds and hope,
a present killing future lives
destroying what's been known.

But why would people do that, ma,
't of greed or are they forced?
They simply do not think enough,
'bout what their actions cause.

What can I do to change it, ma?
The world is large and old,
to change the course of nature is
to change the stories told.

Both good and bad agree on that,
the difference lies of course
in what will be achieved with it, 
is't life and peace or war?

I enjoy the commentary this is making on war as a universal truth, the cyclic nature of it, and that people jump to action before considering war's repercussions. I'm not sure I enjoy the contractions choices you make, (it) interrupts the meter a little for me.

Your stanza here:
Quote: 
What can I do to change it, ma?
The world is large and old,
to change the course of nature is
to change the stories told.

is by far my favorite, echoing the other commenter here. This is your centerpiece stanza, I think, because the metaphor of changing the world by rewriting history is one I identify very deeply with. It's a unique take, and it's not as popular or contrived as others may say in the future. A lot of folks don't remember this truth even if they say, "Oh yeah I heard that in history class." They usually follow up with, "What a crock of shit," in my experience. They never learn!

I also really appreciate your double entendre, "a present killing future lives/," the way you chose to format it is great. It can be left to interpretation, and the syllables you decide to stress can change the meaning. I love using this device, and you executed perfectly here. I wish there were maybe one more.

Quote: Before there were no world wars, ma?
No they were too small.

These lines don't work in the context of the rhythm you laid out in the first two lines. I would maybe take out "world," then also consider reworking "No they were too small," completely. I get the meaning but the rhythm gets interrupted.

Thank you for sharing this, I look forward to seeing more from you.
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