The liar
#1
A liar disguised
in gentleman's robes.
A dangerous spy,
no mercy to show.
He steals and depletes
the innocent love.
To wrong what is right,
to lose what is hope.

But when he comes home,
whatever that is,
a feeling of lone,
a feeling of trist.
Puts down all his robes,
remains in a mess
of somber confusion
and honest distress.

So what is a lie,
a truth well-disguised?
Is malice inside
the dishonest mind?
While trying to find
the good and the right,
one may very well
decide to just hide.
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#2
Hey Natangwe, here are my thoughts

in s1 L8 not sure if "loose" is supposed to be "lose"
I like how this poem gets inside the mind of the person depicted as evil or manipulative.
It humanizes them and tries to interpret their actions, while not necessarily asking for the reader to show them pity.
Kind of reminds me of notes from the underground or picture of dorian gray, lolita etc.
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#3
(05-28-2025, 02:23 AM)Harroldinho Wrote:  Hey Natangwe, here are my thoughts

in s1 L8 not sure if "loose" is supposed to be "lose"
I like how this poem gets inside the mind of the person depicted as evil or manipulative.
It humanizes them and tries to interpret their actions, while not necessarily asking for the reader to show them pity.
Kind of reminds me of notes from the underground or picture of dorian gray, lolita etc.

Hey Harroldinho, 
Thanks for the feedback Smile. l meant to write "to lose" yes, but "too loose" also seems interesting, maybe I will reconsider. And I will definetly have to read notes from the underground, it sounds interesting.
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#4
See if it sounds better to change that line "the innocent love" to "love of the innocent"
Try to delete the "whatever that is" line.It helps with the flow of how it's read. And this is my first critique. Apologies if it came out wrong.
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