The house in the Woods.

[ton321]

Then woke to birds singing, blackbird, lark.
It liked the rough feel of bark on its bricks,
the way leaves fell on its lintel,
how roots grasped like hands in the dark.

Became its home. Sorrow was a thing of the past.
But the hunting party of lawyers were closing in.
The dogs were out in front, with wet black noses.
They were hunting out those things that were not meant to last.

[dukealien]

Then woke to birds singing, blackbird, lark.  Missing subject here ("it," presumably) works well - sudden, confused awakening.
It liked the rough feel of bark on its bricks,  Personifies the house - it actively feels.  Also nice inside rhyme (bark) in addition to the lark-dark.
the way leaves fell on its lintel,  see comment below
how roots grasped like hands in the dark.  Could be metaphor instead of simile by dropping "like."

Became its home. Sorrow was a thing of the past.  Missing subject again, a bit harder to figure.  And "thing of the past" is cliche.
But the hunting party of lawyers were closing in.  Good recovery of cliche "hunting party" to a nice, ambiguous image (political party?) But see below...
The dogs were out in front, with wet black noses.  Perhaps an active verb - "ran" out in front,  "Their" for "The" - good picture
They were hunting out those things that were not meant to last. Could repeat of "hunting" be avoided?  Even "hunted" instead of "were hunting?"

First stanza, L3 - I have a little trouble with leaves falling on the lintel (a horizontal member not much exposed to falling leaves).  Is the house semi-ruined, with bare lintels?  (Forgive my detail hobgoblin!)

Second stanza, L1 - Be creative replacing "thing of the past," shouldn't be hard to keep the end rhyme.

"[P]arty... of lawyers were"  Strictly speaking (down, hobgoblin!) it is the party which *is* closing in, so it should be "was" (singular).  That looks and sounds wrong because "lawyers" (plural) is closer to the verb.  Perhaps the line could be rearranged ("a lawyers' hunting party" or the like) to avoid the situation.

The last line makes the connection between the contented house and its implied troubled future ("You're real estate!  Someone must own you!")  Give it your best shot - I have an idea, but won't rewrite.

This is a good set of images, laid out in an effective sequence and ending with a melancholy, touching surprise.  In basic critique, don't take these suggestions and observations too seriously.  Looking forward to edits.

[busker]

Then woke to birds singing, blackbird, lark.
It liked the rough feel of bark on its bricks,
the way leaves fell on its lintel,
how roots grasped like hands in the dark.

Became its home. Sorrow was a thing of the past.
But the hunting party of lawyers were closing in.
The dogs were out in front, with wet black noses.
They were hunting out those things that were not meant to last.

Loved this poem.

'the dogs were out in front with wet black noses' is a great line.
the image of lawyers as a hunting party is a nice one.
overall, nice atmospherics

Duke has noted where you can improve it, but otherwise good job.

[carahmellow]

Then woke to birds singing, blackbird, lark. (I feel like we are reading the middle of a poem... we are missing context. Why "then"? what did they do before...)
It liked the rough feel of bark on its bricks,
the way leaves fell on its lintel,
how roots grasped like hands in the dark.

Became its home. Sorrow was a thing of the past. (became its home is an odd line. Who or what are we talking about here? what became its home? the land?) 
But the hunting party of lawyers were closing in.
The dogs were out in front, with wet black noses. ("The dogs were out in front"-- this line could be worked on.... Maybe, "The dogs held their vigil" or "The dogs lay poised")
They were hunting out those things that were not meant to last.

I really loved this poem! Its a great start! I really love the theme here... the personification of inatimate objects in poetry is always something I love, if done well. 

[ton321]

Then woke to birds singing, blackbird, lark.  Missing subject here ("it," presumably) works well - sudden, confused awakening.
It liked the rough feel of bark on its bricks,  Personifies the house - it actively feels.  Also nice inside rhyme (bark) in addition to the lark-dark.
the way leaves fell on its lintel,  see comment below
how roots grasped like hands in the dark.  Could be metaphor instead of simile by dropping "like."

Became its home. Sorrow was a thing of the past.  Missing subject again, a bit harder to figure.  And "thing of the past" is cliche.
But the hunting party of lawyers were closing in.  Good recovery of cliche "hunting party" to a nice, ambiguous image (political party?) But see below...
The dogs were out in front, with wet black noses.  Perhaps an active verb - "ran" out in front,  "Their" for "The" - good picture
They were hunting out those things that were not meant to last. Could repeat of "hunting" be avoided?  Even "hunted" instead of "were hunting?"

First stanza, L3 - I have a little trouble with leaves falling on the lintel (a horizontal member not much exposed to falling leaves).  Is the house semi-ruined, with bare lintels?  (Forgive my detail hobgoblin!)

Second stanza, L1 - Be creative replacing "thing of the past," shouldn't be hard to keep the end rhyme.

"[P]arty... of lawyers were"  Strictly speaking (down, hobgoblin!) it is the party which *is* closing in, so it should be "was" (singular).  That looks and sounds wrong because "lawyers" (plural) is closer to the verb.  Perhaps the line could be rearranged ("a lawyers' hunting party" or the like) to avoid the situation.

The last line makes the connection between the contented house and its implied troubled future ("You're real estate!  Someone must own you!")  Give it your best shot - I have an idea, but won't rewrite.

This is a good set of images, laid out in an effective sequence and ending with a melancholy, touching surprise.  In basic critique, don't take these suggestions and observations too seriously.  Looking forward to edits.

---

Thanks Duk. I can see there are a few cliches here. If leaves fall on lintels maybe the beams are exposed? Never said it was a whole house ha! Also thanks for for correcting the awful grammar.

Tony

---

Then woke to birds singing, blackbird, lark.
It liked the rough feel of bark on its bricks,
the way leaves fell on its lintel,
how roots grasped like hands in the dark.

Became its home. Sorrow was a thing of the past.
But the hunting party of lawyers were closing in.
The dogs were out in front, with wet black noses.
They were hunting out those things that were not meant to last.

Loved this poem.

'the dogs were out in front with wet black noses' is a great line.
the image of lawyers as a hunting party is a nice one.
overall, nice atmospherics

Duke has noted where you can improve it, but otherwise good job.



Thanks Busker for stopping by.

---

[quote="ton321" pid='272224' dateline='1734752374']
Then woke to birds singing, blackbird, lark. (I feel like we are reading the middle of a poem... we are missing context. Why "then"? what did they do before...)
It liked the rough feel of bark on its bricks,
the way leaves fell on its lintel,
how roots grasped like hands in the dark.

Became its home. Sorrow was a thing of the past. (became its home is an odd line. Who or what are we talking about here? what became its home? the land?) 
But the hunting party of lawyers were closing in.
The dogs were out in front, with wet black noses. ("The dogs were out in front"-- this line could be worked on.... Maybe, "The dogs held their vigil" or "The dogs lay poised")
They were hunting out those things that were not meant to last.

I really loved this poem! Its a great start! I really love the theme here... the personification of inatimate objects in poetry is always something I love, if done well. 

Thanks Carah.

Its's a bit of an odd piece so thanks for taking the time to critique it. It is in fact part of a longer piece but due to drastic editing ....

Tony

[John Randall]

Then woke to birds singing, blackbird, lark.
It liked the rough feel of bark on its bricks,
the way leaves fell on its lintel,
how roots grasped like hands in the dark.

Became its home. Sorrow was a thing of the past.
But the hunting party of lawyers were closing in.
The dogs were out in front, with wet black noses.
They were hunting out those things that were not meant to last.

I really like the idea of 'Then' woke; we have woken countless times before and waking is always a 'next event' - a 'then.'
I don't know what 'Became its home' means in isolation.
'The dogs were out in front' - evocative, direct image.
Nice work!