Better Normal

[Bunx]

Better Normal

Tense is the feeling, 
in this in mobile home.
Nervous apprehension, 
new routine.

Much emotion can
Be felt sitting.
Empathic sentence,
monitoring human suffering.

Annual everything
forgotten.
Traditions spoiled.
Rotten.

Guilt, jealously, remorse, connection.
It's wrong to
want attention.

When all is lost, inevitable cost.
Death dances, the march of fate.
Some terrorize our mental,
and psychical state.

A better normal,
born of fear, 
Sickness, nostalgia,
woes stain.

Never forget how low.
Will be our refrain.

When we
breathe again.

When we
hold our friends.

When we
say no more sorrow.

When we
finished feeling hollow.

We take fear tears
to the gallows.

I will not stand by
A better normal,
will be my score.

[Erthona]

As this is in missile-anus I will not critique, but you might to consider work-shopping it. I think the poem is worth the effort.


best,

dale

[newsclippings]

Better Normal

Tense is the feeling, 
in a lived in mobile home.
Nervous apprehension, 
Our new routine.

Much emotion can
Be felt sitting there.
An empathic sentence,
montior to human suffering.

Annual everything forgotten.
Traditions spoiled. Rotten.
Guilt, jealously, remorse, connection.
It's wrong to want attention.

When all is lost no where to go.
Death dances to the march of fate.
Some terrorize our mental,
and psychical state.

A better normal, born of fear, 
Sickness, sorrow, and woes stain.
Never forget how low we can go.
Will be our refrain.

When we can breath again.
When we can hold our friends.
When we can say no more sorrow.
When were finished feeling hollow.
We will take our fear to the gallows.

I will not stand by anymore,
A better normal, will be my score.

Hi there, think you might have meant to write "monitor" and "breathe" instead of "breath" -- agree you with dale you might want to chop this up and keep what's good to workshop.

Best of luck!

[Bunx]

Finally getting around to a first edit of this one three years *tears lol* later.. I am pretty hell bent on getting published

I also added the song