Look closely

[busker]

Look closely

When he saw the blood red lips
of Aphrodite -
her alabaster hips, and hair
like bright sunrise,
did he also see the ship sails deep within 
her wine dark eyes?

[brynmawr1]

Look closely

When he saw the blood red lips
of Aphrodite -
her alabaster hips, and hair
like bright sunrise,
did he also see the ship sails deep within 
her wine dark eyes?

Hi Busker,
I just wanted to stop by and say that I have enjoyed this.  I don't really have any suggestions.  It does read like a good opening stanza of a longer poem, perhaps?
take care,
bryn