A time grown out of pity like rain on the asphalt.
Pain is a pleasure to the unassuming masses.
It was not the vow that was broken, but the innocence that stumbled out of reach of lovers torn at the seams.
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03-11-2024, 10:26 AM
(This post was last modified: 03-12-2024, 11:01 AM by Tiger the Lion.)
(03-10-2024, 09:35 AM)Michaelpoet Wrote: A time grown out of pity like rain on the asphalt.
Pain is a pleasure to the unassuming masses.
It was not the vow that was broken, but the innocence that stumbled out of reach of lovers torn at the seams.
No one breaks vows anymore. They get them waived.
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(03-10-2024, 09:35 AM)Michaelpoet Wrote: A time grown out of pity like rain on the asphalt. my favorite line
Pain is a pleasure to the unassuming masses. this needs more explanation, or better, an illustration.
It was not the vow that was broken, but the innocence that stumbled out of reach of lovers torn at the seams. The anthropomorphizing of "innocence" doesn't work for me. However, "lovers torn at the seams" has potential
Hi MP,
Welcome to the Pen.
I was not familiar with the term Pic Poetry, so I googled it. It seems to refer to poems superimposed on pictures.
Your poem reads like three independent statements, as you might find in a dictionary definition of a word. I don't know if that was intentional, but it's something you might develop more if so.
TqB