Haiku

[brmccb]

Everything is frozen.
We stood here for a long time.
I walk away first.

[Tiger the Lion]

Everything is frozen.
We stood here for a long time.
I walk away first.

Hello BRM, and welcome to the site.
I would start by ditching the punctuation. There also seems to be conflict in tense. I will illustrate below.

Everything was frozen
We stood there for a long time--
I walked away first

[Wjames]

Everything is frozen.
We stood here for a long time.
I walk away first.

Hey, welcome to the site.

I was left wanting something more tangible, some imagery to put myself in the poem. It is very broad, I would like it better if it were more specifc. I like poems where multiple interpretations can be true, but I think this is too much toward that extreme.

i.e

'Everything' - what are some of the things that are frozen?

'We' who?

'here' - where?

I also think a title could help fill in some of the gaps.