by grace

[Mark A Becker]

by grace

our bodies wear out
the years

as steady tides
of true blood

guide me back
to the exotic

taste of you
again and again

to remind me
who I am

by grace

our bodies wear out
the years

the steady tide
of true blood

guides my heart
to your embrace

takes me back
to the exotic

taste of you
again and again

to remind me
who I am

[TranquillityBase]

by grace

our bodies wear out
the years

the steady tide
of true blood

guides my heart
to your embrace

takes me back
to the exotic

taste of you
again and again

to remind me
who I am

Good morning Mark,

I think you could lose stanza 3 which seems too sweet for me and what remains would be more complete and unique for this reader.

Tim

[Mark A Becker]

I think you could lose stanza 3 which seems too sweet for me and what remains would be more complete and unique for this reader.

Tim

Thanks Tim,
I agree, and will post the revision soon.
-Mark