Posts: 44
Threads: 25
Joined: Sep 2021
I smile.
It's been a while
since one has willingly glided across my face
but today I allow it
because I saw a set of eyes
that were not here,
viewing old art
and I know that, that means
that the set of eyes I have seen
are not just gazing upon a piece
that hasn't seen the light of day in a while
but that the gaze of the one who used to gaze upon me
is scanning anonymously
and has probably seen
my thoughts
that are built like a sculpture
that I have put so much time into.
Today, there's a good reason to smile.
Yes, today there's a reason.
Posts: 39
Threads: 49
Joined: Aug 2021
(09-22-2021, 02:19 AM)ISawASpaceship Wrote: I smile.
It's been a while
since one has willingly glided across my face
but today I allow it
because I saw a set of eyes
that were not here,
viewing old art
and I know that, that means
that the set of eyes I have seen
are not just gazing upon a piece
that hasn't seen the light of day in a while
but that the gaze of the one who used to gaze upon me
is scanning anonymously
and has probably seen
my thoughts
that are built like a sculpture
that I have put so much time into.
Today, there's a good reason to smile.
Yes, today there's a reason. I often do this self affirming note at the end of my poems just so I can end them more gracefully; although, I do not think it is wize to make this a habit. Sense this is somewhat structured like a thought someone is having, it works ok, but I think it would be best to be conscientious of this so your poems can end more subtly.
Posts: 44
Threads: 25
Joined: Sep 2021
(09-27-2021, 03:53 AM)Kerbonzo_beenz Wrote: (09-22-2021, 02:19 AM)ISawASpaceship Wrote: I smile.
It's been a while
since one has willingly glided across my face
but today I allow it
because I saw a set of eyes
that were not here,
viewing old art
and I know that, that means
that the set of eyes I have seen
are not just gazing upon a piece
that hasn't seen the light of day in a while
but that the gaze of the one who used to gaze upon me
is scanning anonymously
and has probably seen
my thoughts
that are built like a sculpture
that I have put so much time into.
Today, there's a good reason to smile.
Yes, today there's a reason. I often do this self affirming note at the end of my poems just so I can end them more gracefully; although, I do not think it is wize to make this a habit. Sense this is somewhat structured like a thought someone is having, it works ok, but I think it would be best to be conscientious of this so your poems can end more subtly.
Yeah, I have done this in a few poems but only when it strikes me to do so. Otherwise they all kind of sound the same.
Posts: 750
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Joined: May 2014
09-27-2021, 08:29 AM
(This post was last modified: 09-27-2021, 08:30 AM by Tiger the Lion.)
I think "I smile" would make a better title. Leading straight into " it's been awhile." Still ties in nicely with the last lines too.
Posts: 432
Threads: 369
Joined: Sep 2014
A smile
It's been a while
since one has unwillingly glided across my face
but the gaze of the one who used to gaze upon me
is scanning anonymously
my thoughts
that I have put so much time into.
Today, there's a good reason to smile.
Yes, today there's a reason.
........
That, no doubt, is a poem.
Sorry, but my keyboard is still pooed. And I'm only working with pretty much a backspace button.
And that was all it was to take.