Self Study

[Jay_Alexander]

We are more than the summation
of rules and regulations
Expectations
beyond prayers to deliver
With her
she gives altercations
of jubilation
digits grasped
past
correlation of adulation
when we congress
Digress the excess
holy hums
tacit quivers
divine perspiration
spirit distillation
A configuration
of humanity
spirituality
ethereal delirium
comfortable insanity
imperial madness
Past this
all consuming
eluding veil
of the frail
Confer in dens
look past the lens
set your mind
free from
Rules and regulations
expectation
Find jubilation
in your darkest incarnations
That is your summation

Do you lay when you fall
or answer the call?

[TranquillityBase]

We are more than the summation
of rules and regulations
Expectations
beyond prayers to deliver      line break here
With her
she gives altercations
of jubilation
digits grasped
past
correlation of adulation       another line break
when we congress
Digress the excess
holy hums
tacit quivers
divine perspiration
spirit distillation                  at this point you begin to lose me, Rhythym is lost, it just becomes a list.
A configuration          Back on track, from here on out, for me.
of humanity
spirituality
ethereal delirium
comfortable insanity
imperial madness
Past this
all consuming
eluding veil
of the frail
Confer in dens
look past the lens
set your mind
free from
Rules and regulations
expectation
Find jubilation
in your darkest incarnations
That is your summation

Do you lay when you fall
or answer the call?

I like what you say, but have some reservations on how you put it on the page, as you can see.  But you've got some good verse there.  Next time pit it in one of the critique threads.

This is miscellaneous which is not really a critique thread, but I figured if you put something out here, you want a reaction.

TqB

[rowens]

This expression is good. Everything you say. The free-style is great. The poem is judged on Difference. 
If you write good like lots do, the poetry is diminished. Poetry is Elite, for Elites.
If you don't care about that, this is great.
The complexity of the Poetry Machine cancels out even the great when it's common.




We are more than the summation
of rules and regulations
Expectations
beyond prayers to deliver
With her

This is a demon stration: 
You could move the word Expectations from where you have it
to under With her


she gives altercations
of jubilation


She altercates
jubilate
digits past
grasped

backpack like that


digits grasped
past
correlation of adulation
when we congress
Digress the excess
holy hums
ta
cit quivers
divine perspiration
spirit distillation
A configuration
of humanity
spirituality
eth
ereal delirium
comfortable insanity
imperial madness
Past this

You get the picture.

This is yours, not mine. 


all consuming
eluding veil
of the frail
Confer in dens
look past the lens
set your mind
free from
Rules and regulations
expectation
Find jubilation
in your darkest incarnations
That is your summation

Do you lay when you fall
or answer the call?