Correct

[Poetry In Motion]

It’s written in heaven
when Gods have enough time tinkering
with pearly white typewriters reveling
in words about order and happy hours.
Correct they said and pushed on their typing
till they found right verbiages to destroy
minds that destroy mortals.
 
It’s in their eyes, eyes of the beholder.
They travel irises right to left
clinking the machine, snapping their fingers
when right words arrived! Eureka! One spoke.
 
Praise me for I am Jesus! Happy words, happy hour!
Till glowing heads increased with diamond light,
Godless hand ended up with carpal tunnel.
 
It’s still written in heaven.
Correct correct correct were the words.

[TranquillityBase]

It’s written in heaven
when Gods have enough time tinkering
with pearly white typewriters reveling      on
in words about order and happy hours*.
Correct they said and pushed on their typing  kept on
till they found right verbiages* to destroy
minds that destroy mortals.
 
It’s in their eyes, eyes of the beholder.
They travel irises right to left*
clinking the machine, snapping their fingers
when right words arrived! Eureka! One spoke.
 
Praise me for I am Jesus! Happy words, happy hour!
Till glowing heads increased with diamond light,
Godless hand ended up with carpal tunnel.
 
It’s still written in heaven.
Correct correct correct were the words.

Wasn't sure if you wanted feedback, or how much, since this is Misc, so I kept my niggling to a minium.  A few things I'd change or delete.  

*happy hours       happy hours immediately brings to mind....well, the cheap drink time.....was that what you wanted people to envision there?
*verbiages           I think you could come up with something less abstract for your word (words) here.
*They travel irises.....           a little awkward and hard to envision

Really, it's a very interesting poem with some fine imagery, and has me thinking and re-reading.  

[Poetry In Motion]

It’s written in heaven
when Gods have enough time tinkering
with pearly white typewriters reveling      on
in words about order and happy hours*.
Correct they said and pushed on their typing  kept on
till they found right verbiages* to destroy
minds that destroy mortals.
 
It’s in their eyes, eyes of the beholder.
They travel irises right to left*
clinking the machine, snapping their fingers
when right words arrived! Eureka! One spoke.
 
Praise me for I am Jesus! Happy words, happy hour!
Till glowing heads increased with diamond light,
Godless hand ended up with carpal tunnel.
 
It’s still written in heaven.
Correct correct correct were the words.

Wasn't sure if you wanted feedback, or how much, since this is Misc, so I kept my niggling to a minium.  A few things I'd change or delete.  

*happy hours       happy hours immediately brings to mind....well, the cheap drink time.....was that what you wanted people to envision there?
*verbiages           I think you could come up with something less abstract for your word (words) here.
*They travel irises.....           a little awkward and hard to envision

Really, it's a very interesting poem with some fine imagery, and has me thinking and re-reading.  

This poem was for an assignment but thanks for the feedback. I did need it.

[brynmawr1]

It’s written in heaven
when Gods have enough time tinkering
with pearly white typewriters reveling
in words about order and happy hours.
Correct they said and pushed on their typing
till they found right verbiages to destroy
minds that destroy mortals.
 
It’s in their eyes, eyes of the beholder.
They travel irises right to left
clinking the machine, snapping their fingers
when right words arrived! Eureka! One spoke.
 
Praise me for I am Jesus! Happy words, happy hour!
Till glowing heads increased with diamond light,
Godless hand ended up with carpal tunnel.
 
It’s still written in heaven.
Correct correct correct were the words.

Hi PinM,
Like TqB I find your poem intriguing and i have been rereading it trying to parse out your message but haven't cracked it.  I certainly could be me, but I feel like there is a disconnect in the narrative that confounds me.  For instance, your first clause feels like an incomplete sentence leaving me feel like there is something missing.  I would also add that there is are missing articles in places that might be for specific reasons but it isn't clear to me.  I know these points are nebulous, at best.  I only point them out so you know how others are reading your poem.  If you would like more critique repost in one of the more rigorous forums.
As I said earlier, your poem is intriguing.
Thanks for sharing,
bryn

[Poetry In Motion]

It’s written in heaven
when Gods have enough time tinkering
with pearly white typewriters reveling
in words about order and happy hours.
Correct they said and pushed on their typing
till they found right verbiages to destroy
minds that destroy mortals.
 
It’s in their eyes, eyes of the beholder.
They travel irises right to left
clinking the machine, snapping their fingers
when right words arrived! Eureka! One spoke.
 
Praise me for I am Jesus! Happy words, happy hour!
Till glowing heads increased with diamond light,
Godless hand ended up with carpal tunnel.
 
It’s still written in heaven.
Correct correct correct were the words.

Hi PinM,
Like TqB I find your poem intriguing and i have been rereading it trying to parse out your message but haven't cracked it.  I certainly could be me, but I feel like there is a disconnect in the narrative that confounds me.  For instance, your first clause feels like an incomplete sentence leaving me feel like there is something missing.  I would also add that there is are missing articles in places that might be for specific reasons but it isn't clear to me.  I know these points are nebulous, at best.  I only point them out so you know how others are reading your poem.  If you would like more critique repost in one of the more rigorous forums.
As I said earlier, your poem is intriguing.
Thanks for sharing,
bryn

Thanks bryn. I will do some mulling over this piece.