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Homage to The Stranger
He is condemned a stranger
who refuses to make response
in the glare of aching sunlight
that obscures the answer sought
in sea breezes lifting
across the questioner’s mask.
He offers no denial to the curious,
no words uttered to be spurned
or damned to sessile delight.
In a failure to readily reply
his unchained intelligence
steps back into the diligent.
But an instant’s reconnaissance
unmakes his flight into silence
leaving only angles of restlessness
sheltered in the questioner’s sigh.
The stranger shuns forgiveness
leaping forward to be condemned.
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(10-23-2022, 07:06 AM)TranquillityBase Wrote: Reply to The Stranger is this camus?
He is condemned a stranger
who knows not to answer
the glare of aching sunlight
obscuring the sign sought
in sea breeze lifting
across the cynic’s laughter. The first stanza here has me roped in, I'm not sure 'the sign sought'
He offers no denial to the curious
words uttered to be spurned
damned to sessile delight
in a reply so readily despised,
an unchained intelligence
clawed back to the diligent. Is it sessile delight? I looked up sessile, it's a pretty cool word, use of punctuation at all makes me want either more or less, the first block up there might have used a comma here or there, maybe you don't need the comma in this block here
Born in an instant’s reconnaissance
unmade by flight and derailed
into angles of restlessness
sheltered in the sight seen,
outline of an ego that speaks
to a hero’s empty space. Unmade by flight I don't quite understand. If this is a sentence, I don't know what the subject is, the outline? Maybe you don't need the comma.
I loved the book the stranger and I love this poem just thinking about it, this is your reply, maybe not to the book, ... I get caught up in all the big words, don't have much to say but I look forward to seeing where this goes
Peanut butter honey banana sandwiches
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(10-23-2022, 07:18 AM)CRNDLSM Wrote: (10-23-2022, 07:06 AM)TranquillityBase Wrote: Reply to The Stranger is this camus?
He is condemned a stranger
who knows not to answer
the glare of aching sunlight
obscuring the sign sought
in sea breeze lifting
across the cynic’s laughter. The first stanza here has me roped in, I'm not sure 'the sign sought'
He offers no denial to the curious
words uttered to be spurned
damned to sessile delight
in a reply so readily despised,
an unchained intelligence
clawed back to the diligent. Is it sessile delight? I looked up sessile, it's a pretty cool word, use of punctuation at all makes me want either more or less, the first block up there might have used a comma here or there, maybe you don't need the comma in this block here
Born in an instant’s reconnaissance
unmade by flight and derailed
into angles of restlessness
sheltered in the sight seen,
outline of an ego that speaks
to a hero’s empty space. Unmade by flight I don't quite understand. If this is a sentence, I don't know what the subject is, the outline? Maybe you don't need the comma.
I loved the book the stranger and I love this poem just thinking about it, this is your reply, maybe not to the book, ... I get caught up in all the big words, don't have much to say but I look forward to seeing where this goes
Thanks for the read and the suggestions. Yes, it's a reply to Camus' book, about his main character, Mersault. A friend of mine was giving away a bunch of his father's old books and a 1946 printing of The Stranger was among them. I'd read it a long time ago, but wasn't old enough to really absorb it. Picked it up by chance and read it again and was inspired to write this. I'm reading it a second time, then I'll come back to this and try to make the parts you pointed out clearer.
Came across "sessile" in a poem by Auden. It's a very cool word that demanded I use it sometime.
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(10-23-2022, 07:06 AM)TranquillityBase Wrote: Reply to The Stranger
He is condemned a stranger
who refuses to make response
in the glare of aching sunlight
that obscures the answer sought
in sea breezes lifting
across the questioner’s mask.
He offers no denial to the curious comma or period here?
no words uttered to be spurned
or damned to sessile delight.
In a failure to readily reply
his unchained intelligence
steps back into the diligent.
But an instant’s reconnaissance
unmakes his flight into silence
leaving only angles of restlessness
sheltered in the questioner’s sigh.
The stranger shuns forgiveness
leaping forward to be condemned.
Hi TqB,
I don't know the book, but I do like the changes you made. Only two minor suggestions above.
Bryn
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(03-11-2023, 12:34 AM)brynmawr1 Wrote: Hi TqB,
I don't know the book, but I do like the changes you made. Only two minor suggestions above.
Bryn
Implemented. Thanks for the read.
I changed title too. I think previous title made people think they had to know the novel to access the poem. Which I hope is not so.
