Bad limericks

[CRNDLSM]

Whenever jim saw red,
he usually bowed his head.
He'd lay in bed and pray the dead
would return, instead, to be fed.
Jim was timid and wary,
He hated this other guy Larry.
Larry would parry 'well, you'll never marry,
you'll never even see the cherry.'
One day Larry called out to Jim,
'my sisters in town on a whim,
Don't be so dim, go out on a limb'
and invited him out with them.
So jim, Larry, and Mabel,
easily found a good table.
Ordered top label, and quickly were able
to make more than their chairs unstable.
Larry wandered off to mingle
and Mabel gave jim a good tingle.
They were both single; the songs a good jingle.
'Let's go take a peak at that dingle.'
The next morning back at the office
he quickly became very nauseous.
An email he lost his job, but the cause is
a dick pic went out to all his bosses.
Jim asked Larry about his sister,
but Larry just laughed, 'listen mister,
you must have pissed her off when you kissed her,
Mabel's a bitch, And you dissed her.'
So jim was a little confused,
never had he been so abused.
A noose is too loose, it's time to light a fuse
and just turn everyone into juice.
He filled the car up with gas
inside and out for the blast.
To work hauling ass, he crashed through the glass
and his dreams rose up out of the ash,
'cause the company lab on site
made chemicals for government fights.
A bacteria bite brought back to life
his corpse with a ravenous appetite

[brynmawr1]

Whenever jim saw red,
he usually bowed his head.
He'd lay in bed and pray the dead
would, instead, return to be fed.    period
Jim was timid and wary,                   period here, too.
He hated this other guy Larry.
Larry would parry 'well, you'll never marry,
you'll never even see the cherry.'
One day Larry called out to Jim,
'my sisters in town on a whim,
Don't be so dim, go out on a limb'
And invited him out with the them.   ?
So Jim, Larry, and Mabel,
easily found a good table.
Ordered top label, and quickly were able
to make more than their chairs unstable.
Larry wandered off to mingle
And Mabel gave jim a good tingle
They were both single, the songs a good jingle
'Let's go take a peak at that dingle.'
The next morning back at the office
He quickly became very nauseous.
An email he lost his job, but the cause is    this a bit awkward phrasing
a dick pic went out to all his bosses.
Jim asked Larry about his sister.
But Larry just laughed, 'listen here mister,
You must have pissed her off when you kissed her,
Mabel's a bitch, And you dissed her.'
So jim was a little confused
Never had he been so abused
A noose is too loose, it's time to light a fuse
And just turn everyone into juice.
He filled the car up with gas
Inside and out for the blast
To work hauling ass, he crashed through the glass
and his dreams rose up out of the ash.
Cause the chemical company he worked for
was experimenting with biological warfare
His DNA altered absorbing some vapors
And his reanimated corpse had a hunger

Hi CRNDLSM,
Nice little story of unrequited love, dick pics and zombies.  An age old story!  I made some minor edits and comments above.  I do think that you pushed the rhyme too much with end rhyme and internal rhyme.  It forced you into some awkward phrasing which was distracting.  I liked the last line but you ditched the rhyme at the very end where I wanted it the most.  I think if you rework it with a looser the rhyme the story would come through better.  PS I also liked the bar scene.
Take care,
bryn

[CRNDLSM]

Thanks bryn, I changed the last 4 lines and some of the punctuation throughout. Glad you enjoyed it's still for fun