Watching Your Language

[Mark A Becker]

Watching Your Language

Truth is where
truth lies -
in language spoken
with your eyes.

the truth is where
the truth lies-
a language spoken
with your eyes.

[Semicircle]

Watching Your Language

the truth is where
the truth lies-
a language spoken
with your eyes.

no need for the "the" just slows down the punch.

I like the "truth is where truth lies" but it is kind of a played out concept. "We are what we eat" yadda yadda. I think it can be forgiven for this small piece, I just wanted to point it out.

I thouroughly enjoy these small poems with a clear message. They have a great impact.
Erthona did one about wisdom bought with coins of pain, or something to that nature.
Little mantras that you can remember easily.

Keep em' coming
sc.

[Mark A Becker]

no need for the "the" just slows down the punch.

I like the "truth is where truth lies" but it is kind of a played out concept. "We are what we eat" yadda yadda.

Thanks SC-

I agree on both counts:

1. If I leave out 'the', then the first "truth" will be a capital 'T', which is what I wanted, but missed the obvious element of just leaving out 'the'.  Your solution is spot on.

2.  'truth is where truth lies' is a pretty blatant cliche.  I only used it as the set-up for the final lines.  (Yeah, excuses, excuses...).

Also- I have noticed that your level of critique has raised a bar, and that's a very good thing.  You're developing a good eye.

...Mark