02-25-2022, 05:08 PM (This post was last modified: 03-04-2022, 02:40 AM by RiverNotch.)
Andrei
Tarkovsky's Rublev
painted frescoes at the Andronikov
Monastery, his home,
but few of them survived
the Revolution.
He observed that the history
of the Slavs is all suffering,
that the Christ was cruel
to leave so many people
behind, so his mentor
Theophan the Greek
warned him to be wary
of his watching.
He implored the naked pagans
who caught him as he stumbled
through their revels at Kupala
Night to hang him
head down, he was not worthy
of the same cross as the Christ,
and a woman moved by wonder
kissed him, let him go.
He mourned snow falling
in a church while conversing
with the ghost of Theophan
and vowed never to speak
again after he'd driven
an axe through the skull
of a Slav who tried to rape
a fellow Slav, a Fool-for-Christ.
He watched the prince's men
ride down the naked pagans
come morning and could do nothing
but cover the eyes
of his young apprentice,
until he broke his silence
when a bell on its first striking
rang out clearly, did not crack,
and the boy the prince had hired
to lead its casting broke down crying
on the mud by his side.
"You'll cast bells, I'll paint icons."
And three serene figures
draped in the most stubborn
color, azure, sit
in a circle, a house and a tree
and a mountain bending towards them---
Tarkovsky's Rublev
painted icons for the Trinity
Lavra outside Moscow,
whose bells did not survive
the Revolution.
v2
Tarkovsky's Rublev
painted frescoes at the Andronikov
Monastery, his home,
but few of them survived
the Revolution.
He observed that the history
of the Slavs is all suffering,
that the Christ was cruel
to leave so many people
behind, so his mentor
Theophan the Greek
warned him to be wary
of his watching.
He implored the naked pagans
who caught him as he stumbled
through their revels at Kupala
Night to hang him
head down, he was not worthy
of the same cross as the Christ,
and a woman moved by wonder
kissed him, let him go.
He refused to paint
the Last Judgement on the walls
of the church in Vladimir
when his friends, fellow artists,
returned early from their journey
to the prince's more generous
brother with their eyes
gouged out, instead adorning
its walls with a feast.
He mourned snow falling
in a church while conversing
with the ghost of Theophan
and vowed never to speak
again after he'd driven
an axe through the skull
of a Slav who tried to rape
a fellow Slav, a Fool-for-Christ.
He watched the prince's men
ride down the naked pagans
come morning and could do nothing
but cover the eyes
of his young apprentice,
until he broke his silence
when a bell on its first striking
rang out clearly, did not crack,
and the boy the prince had hired
to lead its casting broke down crying
on the mud by his side.
"You'll cast bells, I'll paint icons."
Tarkovsky's Rublev
painted icons for the Trinity
Lavra outside Moscow,
whose bells did not survive
the Revolution.
v1
Tarkovsky's Rublev
painted frescoes at the monastery
of St. Andronik in Moscow
but few of them survived
the Revolution.
Tarkovsky's Rublev
observed that the history
of the Slavs is all suffering,
that the Christ was cruel
to leave so many people
like the Ever-Virgin
or St. Ivan the Theologian
behind, so his mentor
Theophan warned him
to be wary of his watching.
Tarkovsky's Rublev
implored the naked pagans
who caught him as he stumbled
through their revels at the eve
of the Feast of St. Ivan
the Forerunner to hang him
head down, he was not worthy
of the same cross as the Christ,
and a woman moved by wonder
kissed him, let him go.
Tarkovsky's Rublev
mourned snow falling
in a church while conversing
with the ghost of Theophan
and vowed never to speak
again after he'd driven
an axe through the skull
of a Slav who tried to rape
a fellow Slav, a Fool-for-Christ.
Tarkovsky's Rublev
watched the boyar's men ride
down the pagans come morning
and could do naught but hide
his young student's eyes,
until he broke his silence
when a bell on its first striking
rang out clearly, did not crack,
and the boy the boyar hired
to lead its casting fell down weeping
on the mud by his side.
Tarkovsky's Rublev
painted frescoes at the monastery
of St. Andronik, his home,
but few of them survived
the Revolution.
Tarkovsky's Rublev Perhaps mention Tarkovsky in the title, so this doesn't need to be repeated. I don't think the repetition really adds to the poem.
painted frescoes at the monastery
of St. Andronik in Moscow
but few of them survived
the Revolution.
Tarkovsky's Rublev I'd start with this stanza, leaving the above stanza to the end.
observed that the history
of the Slavs is all suffering,
that the Christ was cruel to leave so many people like the Ever-Virgin or St. Ivan the Theologian behind, so his mentor these lines confuse me, probably because I just don't remember or know who you are referring to, but also because, in a way, Christ left us all behind
Theophan warned him
to be wary of his watching.
Tarkovsky's Rublev
implored the naked pagans
who caught him as he stumbled
through their revels at the eve
of the Feast of St. Ivan
the Forerunner to hang him
head down, he was not worthy
of the same cross as the Christ,
and a woman moved by wonder
kissed him, let him go.
Tarkovsky's Rublev
mourned snow falling
in a church while conversing
with the ghost of Theophan
and vowed never to speak
again after he'd driven
an axe through the skull
of a Slav who tried to rape
a fellow Slav, a Fool-for-Christ. This stanza seems out of order, like it should be after the next one.
Tarkovsky's Rublev
watched the boyar's men ride
down the pagans come morning
and could do naught but hide
his young student's eyes,
until he broke his silence Perhaps some explanation why this event caused him to break his literal/artistic silence.
when a bell on its first striking
rang out clearly, did not crack,
and the boy the boyar hired
to lead its casting fell down weeping
on the mud by his side.
Tarkovsky's Rublev
painted frescoes at the monastery
of St. Andronik, his home,
but few of them survived
the Revolution.
I watched Andrei Rublev many years ago. I've never been able to watch it again, though I've tried several times, because the cruelties depicted are just too much for me. I did skim the plot in Wikipedia just to refresh my memory. I think your poem is an interesting approach to the film and to the character of Andrei. I think adding more about his art would be good for the poem.
(02-25-2022, 05:08 PM)RiverNotch Wrote: Tarkovsky's Rublev
painted frescoes at the Andronikov
Monastery, his home,
but few of them survived
the Revolution. ... the difference between writing this out in prose and having it in a poem is the pauses at each line ending. I like the pause at the end of 'survived', before the the qualification of 'the revolution' in the next line.
He observed that the history
of the Slavs is all suffering, ... this is a great line. Is it original, of from the film?
that the Christ was cruel
to leave so many people
behind, so his mentor
Theophan the Greek
warned him to be wary
of his watching. ... the entire poem is told in a very matter of fact style. I don't know whether that derives from the film, but it works.
He implored the naked pagans
who caught him as he stumbled
through their revels at Kupala
Night to hang him
head down, he was not worthy
of the same cross as the Christ,
and a woman moved by wonder
kissed him, let him go. ... a gripping story
He refused to paint
the Last Judgement on the walls
of the church in Vladimir
when his friends, fellow artists,
returned early from their journey
to the prince's more generous
brother with their eyes
gouged out, instead adorning
its walls with a feast. ... so he painted a feast, or the last supper? why were the fellow artists' eyes gouged out? not having seen the film, I don't follow this strophe nor understand its significance.
He mourned snow falling
in a church while conversing
with the ghost of Theophan ... a beautiful 3 lines
and vowed never to speak
again after he'd driven
an axe through the skull
of a Slav who tried to rape
a fellow Slav, a Fool-for-Christ.
He watched the prince's men
ride down the naked pagans
come morning and could do nothing
but cover the eyes
of his young apprentice, ... I like the change from 'student' to 'apprentice'
until he broke his silence
when a bell on its first striking
rang out clearly, did not crack,
and the boy the prince had hired
to lead its casting broke down crying
on the mud by his side.
"You'll cast bells, I'll paint icons."
Tarkovsky's Rublev
painted icons for the Trinity
Lavra outside Moscow,
whose bells did not survive
the Revolution. ... so neither the icons nor the bells survived...it hints at some bigger questions about art and life, etc but the ending is still vague enough to allow for multiple interpretations
i have half a mind to just remove the Last Judgement stanza, just as it wasn't in the first draft. what do y'all think?
authorial stuff i recommend reading only after y'all've critiqued the piece on its own terms:
this was written semi-hastily as an emotional response to current events. that one visit to russia in my teens, and how it impacted me, is one of the reasons i'm even in this forum, so i'd say i'm a bit of a slavophile
also a bit of a response to busker:
originally wrote something longer here, but yeeted it for one very good reason: the movie is great enough that you should just borrow a copy from a friend, so to speak, and watch it xD
I don't think it would be a bad idea to remove that stanza as it does create questions.
I do think it wouldn't hurt to name some of the icons that survived in your final stanza, or maybe describe your reaction to them. As I said before, a little more about his art would be good for the poem.
Interesting that they survived but the bells did not.
.
Hi River,
it's improved with each revision, I think, but it still seems to be too concerned with following the 'plot' of the film (which I haven't seen) and not enough to do with what you mention in the Spoiler. I'd like to see a bit of the contemporary, or the poet, included in the piece. Without the spoiler, why is the poet writing this?
One area I think need work is the enjambments. A lot of the seem too 'contrived', for example
Tarkovsky's Rublev
painted icons for the Trinity
Lavra outside Moscow,
whose bells did not survive
the Revolution.
the Trinity / Lavra enjambment doesn't work as successfully as the Andronikov / Monastery break does in the first verse
The line Lavra outside Moscow just seems close to meaningless.
That said, even the first verse might be 'improved'
Tarkovsky's Rublev painted frescoes / at the Andronikov few of them survived the Revolution.
I like the ambiguity of whether it was just the frescoes, or the monks, who survived the Revolution.
He observed that the history ....... 'observed' is a little ambiguous, and not in a good way Did he see the 'history of ...' or did he comment on it (or both)?
of the Slavs is all suffering,
that the Christ was cruel
to leave so many people
behind, so his mentor
Theophan the Greek
warned him to be wary
of his watching.
Just a thought
Tarkovsky's Rublev saw the history of the Slavs was suffering, that the Christ was cruel to leave behind so many people.
His mentor, Theophan the Greek warned him to be careful of such expression.
I think you could go from here to something contemporary, some of those anti-war (anti-Z) protests, for instance, or refugee lines trying to cross the border. Something that brings the 'so many people' and/or the 'warning' into the present day.. If it's not too fanciful, how might he have painted them, or Tarkovsky have filmed them?
