As a child…

[busker]

As a child…

I was afraid of ghosts
in fig trees, yew trees,
willows like fountains of tears
in the gathering darkness. Fear
of bones picked clean. Water
churned green. Sorrow that hung
from a rope in the branches
against the sky,
wide eyed children
asking why -

but now 
knowing it was all a lie 
I’m afraid there are no ghosts 
in the gathering darkness.

[ISawASpaceship]

As a child…

I was afraid of ghosts
in fig trees, yew trees,
willows like fountains of tears
in the gathering darkness. Fear
of bones picked clean. Water
churned green. Sorrow that hung
from a rope in the branches
against the sky,
the white wide eyes of children
asking why -

but now 
knowing it was all a lie 
I’m afraid there are no ghosts 
in the gathering darkness.

This is one of my favorite poems I've ever read. I like the humanity of it and just how real the fear of the unknown  (that which comes after death), really is. It's a struggle that most of us will face in our lives and is not just relatable to some but to most.

[Tiger the Lion]

As a child…

I was afraid of ghosts
in fig trees, yew trees,
willows like fountains of tears
in the gathering darkness. Fear
of bones picked clean. Water
churned green. Sorrow that hung
from a rope in the branches
against the sky,
the white wide eyes of children
asking why -

but now 
knowing it was all a lie 
I’m afraid there are no ghosts 
in the gathering darkness.

Nicely done, Busker. Especially enjoyed the subtle rhymes of ghosts/willows, clean/green and sky/why/lie. If anything, I would have preferred a repetition of "afraid" in L4, rather than "fear." Sounds stronger when I read it aloud.

[CRNDLSM]

As a child…

I was afraid of ghosts
in fig trees, yew trees,
willows like fountains of tears
in the gathering darkness. Fear
of bones picked clean. Water
churned green. Sorrow that hung
from a rope in the branches
against the sky,
the white wide eyes of children
asking why -

but now 
knowing it was all a lie I don't think you need this line though
I’m afraid there are no ghosts 
in the gathering darkness.

I liked this a lot really, quite catching

[Knot]

.
Hi busker,
just wanted to add to the general round of applause.
The only (ever so slightly) weak point for me was 'against the sky'
(oh, alright, if you insist, and the 'but now')


Just because ...

As a child…

I was afraid of ghosts
in fig trees, yew trees,
of willows like fountains
of tears in the gathering darkness.

And I was afraid of bones
picked clean. of water
churned green. of Sorrow
that hung from a rope
in the branches
against the sky,
of the white wide eyes
of children asking why -

knowing it was all a lie, now
I’m afraid there are no ghosts
in the gathering darkness.


Best, Knot


.

[busker]

Thanks, all. some great feedback.

Tiger - good one.. 'Afraid' is a lot better.
I'm personally not happy with 'against the sky', 'but now / knowing it was all a lie', and the sky/why rhyme, which feels a little trite (so I'm with you there, Knot and CRNDL)
Knot - I think the rearrangement at the end that you've suggested is an improvement. I'm still toying, though, with the idea of 'sorrow that hung LIKE a rope from the branches' - ie not the anthromorphised hanged man, but the hanging rope itself as a simile.

will edit after a few days.

[Knot]

I'm still toying, though, with the idea of 'sorrow that hung LIKE a rope from the branches' - ie not the anthromorphised hanged man, but the hanging rope itself as a simile.

Understood, but isn't there a risk you lose the 'noose' aspect?

'sorrow that hung like a rope' - could be any old rope, something accidentally caught up in the branches (and hung like a noose doesn't sound quite right).

Sorrow that hung from the branches (might stretch the interpretation as far as Eve's apple)?

But, I think the line, as it stands, works best.

And why isn't this in Mild?

Best, Knot

.

[busker]

And why isn't this in Mild?

I usually post a poem in mild where I feel that I’ve put enough thought into it in the first place to ask other people to invest theirs. But sometimes, as in this case, I get useful feedback in Misc, which is a bonus. 
Also, I’m a bit behind on dishing out feedback myself in the other fora…

[rowens]

This is a good one.