LPiA Nov2

[Tiger the Lion]

Let's Pretend it's April - Nov. 2

Rules: Write a poem for LPiA on the topic or form described. Each poem should appear as a separate reply to this thread. The goal is to, at the end of the month have written 30 poems for the month of November. 


Topic : Write a humorous poem about global warming (black humour allowed)
Form : any
Line requirements: 14 lines or less

Feel free to reply with comments or kudos as you wish. 

Questions?

[Kerbonzo_beenz]

What's that smell of barbaque;
feet is on the menu?
guess I've had to many a few.

I go to get my newspaper
but it has been lit on fire!
Damn those kids,
they deserve what for.

Then, a ghastly sight--
my lawn has also been lit alight!
My wife can deal with it I say.
Just for tonight.

What a rediculous thing to see
people burning up on the ground
pa--lease
This is nothing compared to Arizona.

[busker]

Back in the late Triassic
when shifty Herrerasaurs
ambled past the Pacific
ocean's predecessor, the Corrs
hadn't been born yet,
Wimbledon
hadn't seen Bjorn yet,
no second world war
nor Nazi porn yet -
back in such a time as this
the atmosphere was warmed up piss,
thick with carbon dioxide.

O, that's why he's defied -
an old retired bracket seller
from Hard Knocks University -
every single scientist feller
from Archimedes to Edward Teller
and Lee and Yang, and Stanley Miller -
and sings his wise ditty:

'the climate's consistently changing
ergo, we shan't go lone ranging,
dogs self heal once they start manging -
and Darwin was a fool.

O, Darwin was a fool
I'd grab today by his collar,

yours truly,
YouTube scholar.'

[CRNDLSM]

Global warming
There's nothing funny about it
Global warming
Important opinions forming
to make us id-i-ots quit lit-
tering our literal butt shit
global warming

[CRNDLSM]

I like this, thanks for posting

What's that smell of barbaque;
feet is on the menu?
guess I've had to many a few.

I go to get my newspaper
but it has been lit on fire!
Damn those kids,
they deserve what for.

Then, a ghastly sight--
my lawn has also been lit alight!
My wife can deal with it I say.
Just for tonight.

What a rediculous thing to see
people burning up on the ground
pa--lease
This is nothing compared to Arizona.

[RiverNotch]

Where we live the wind
blows dry and wet with the months,
bringing heat and precious rain
in alternation. Sometimes people die
of heat stroke, like my uncle,
and sometimes they drown. My other uncle
and his wife (but I forget
if they already had my cousin then,
the one who wasn't born
with a shut esophagus), they almost drowned
when an otherwise mild storm
poured so hard and for so long
the water got above their knees
in their house's second floor. People say
that if Ondoy had struck today,
with our world a little hotter,
then my aunt would not have lived
to have her second try,
but I figure that next time
it's the heat'll strike.

[dukealien]

Hatelock


Lovelock’s “Daisy World” which simulated
a living planet seeded with
two strains of daisies
one deep black and one bright white
which controlled their planet’s temperature
naturally reflecting or absorbing sunlight

wouldn’t be allowed today
because it shows a planet
can regulate itself
without human governance

and besides those chalky daisies
must be mown down now
for their privilege
(cooking the planet).

[Tiger the Lion]

The Truth of Global Warming

I place the blame on Taco Bell
for causing us to flatulate.
They tell us methane doesn't smell,
but I place blame on Taco Bell.
And if the planet goes to hell
burritos are what's sealed our fate.
I place the blame on Taco Bell
for causing us to flatulate.

[TranquillityBase]

I wouldn’t mind
a little climate change.
I want to live on stilts
and share the yard with alligators,
travel by boat
to trade my poems
for necessities.
Yes, you heard me.
Not just the climate changed:
poems are worth more 
than alligator hides.
And the sunsets are beautiful.

[Mark A Becker]

When the tornado
warning went up
I waited in the yard
for the swirling
circus, screaming,
"Auntie M! Auntie M!"