Robotics

[dukealien]

Robotics


In three-sided war–
animal, plant, mineral–
minerals winning.

[Mark A Becker]

Hey duke-
Not a fan of titles for haiku, but without the title this one would be very difficult to decipher.
A title like “drones” might be too explicit.
The 2nd line is an OK substitute for the child’s game of “animal-vegetable-mineral.”
Finding a better way of contrasting drone strikes to child’s play may be asking too much of haiku.
All in all, you made the connection, and I got the gist of it.
Interesting that the inanimate “minerals” win, since they would require an animate agent (like an animal/person).

Mark

[dukealien]

Hey duke-
Not a fan of titles for haiku, but without the title this one would be very difficult to decipher.
A title like “drones” might be too explicit.
The 2nd line is an OK substitute for the child’s game of “animal-vegetable-mineral.”
Finding a better way of contrasting drone strikes to child’s play may be asking too much of haiku.
All in all, you made the connection, and I got the gist of it.
Interesting that the inanimate “minerals” win, since they would require an animate agent (like an animal/person).

Mark

Actually had nothing to do with drones (as I conceived it), only that the minerals seem to have obtained agency from the animals (us) and are running the table with it.

Wonderful what interpretations can arise from such small substance, though.  Like grains of sand into silicon wafers...

By the way, I'd call this senryu since it's about people rather than scenery - perhaps the title is then forgivable? 

[Mark A Becker]

Hey duke-

I'm interested to see how others will interpret this one.

The two words that drove my interpretation were "robotics" and "war".

If they are omitted, like below, the piece loses its meaning:

"...."
In three-sided "...."
animal, plant, mineral–
minerals winning.

Below I've substituted for those words.  Is it a completely different piece now?

AI
three-sided struggle–
animal, plant, mineral–
minerals winning.


Also, while I'm not a fan of titles for haiku or senryu, this poem needs the title.

MArk

[busker]

Robotics


In three-sided war–
animal, plant, mineral–
minerals winning.

AI is still science fiction, despite what the marketers would like you to believe
But I like the idea of a three sided war.
Animals vs plants - there are plants that have evolved thorns, poisonous sap, etc to deter from being eaten by animals. The Australian outback is the world’s biggest wasteland, strewn with inedible spinoff. Well, practically inedible. I understand some aboriginal tribes derive nourishment from the seeds. And animals of course war on plants.
Plants warring on Minerals is easy. Plants take over everything, even worthless leached, iron rich soil.

Minerals warring on animals is the interesting bit.

Overall, nice and pithy. I like it.

[RiverNotch]

Of course, plants and animals are just minerals with extra steps xD
I feel like it could be pithier -- afaik 5-7-5 is just a nice plus in English haiku/senryu, since English is not as pithy a language as Japanese. "Minerals win" for the ending, and something less redundant for the first line. Nice work though

---

Though I just thought of a sly variation.

Three-sided war:
plant, animal, mineral---
viruses win.

[dukealien]

Of course, plants and animals are just minerals with extra steps xD
I feel like it could be pithier -- afaik 5-7-5 is just a nice plus in English haiku/senryu, since English is not as pithy a language as Japanese. "Minerals win" for the ending, and something less redundant for the first line. Nice work though

---

Though I just thought of a sly variation.

Three-sided war:
plant, animal, mineral---
viruses win.

Oh!  Good one.  Viruses stand apart from the plant and animal kingdoms... maybe they were already mineral.  Though I would not want to insult them by suggesting it...