Sinning Against the Moon

[Thunderembargo]

On the Starships before
the Globe was Shrouded in Bliss
Was Spun from Carbon Sun
Zero Star Energy
Echoed the Crystal Cork
of the Moon's Innocence
Opened like Zinfandel
in Micro-Gravity
You could Bubble Upward
from Sphere to Sphere
and Ship to Ship
.....................through the Co-Axial

And that is how they Spun
this Stuff Called "Earth"
an Elemental Sphere
With Luna Crystal
falling through the Heavens
in a Cascading Vortex
of Angels and Death
Judgement, Despair, and
Heaving Breasts
Falling Hard
Towards the EArth
which they had Spun, and Still Spin
From the Fountain of Life
If not for the Tree of Knowledge
and the Goodness of the Luna Plant

The psylocibin is the Programming Drug
which, tearing life from limb,
gives ascent
to the Sphere's Release
And Shows in Hexygons of Milk
the Moon's Blanket
as not Just Erithu's cover
or it's Tidal Barrier..................
the Mother to the Oceans
Fire Element from it's Crystal
Air from Crystal of Aether
the ground from Inside the Moon
and Wedded
Through the Trans-Axial
to her "heavier" gravitational Mate
Erithu

This is what it means to sin
against the moon
to grow heavy against her
to weigh against her lucid judgement
to tax her serenity
since she, herself, is who spins
the elements
which you inhabit
drawing them together
and combining them
into mural and poesie
and whispers the very aer* of aether
which you breath



*the welsh word aer may or may not refer to the spelling of the ancient word aether, 
a loose derivation

The word αἰθήρ (aithḗr) in Homeric Greek means "pure, fresh air" or "clear sky"

[TranquillityBase]

Thunder, I'm enjoying re-reading this in search of a more complete understanding.  I like the challenge.  A very few notes:

On the Starships before
the Globe was Shrouded in Bliss 
Was Spun from Carbon Sun
Zero Star Energy                                  that sounds physically impossible and the phrase cancels itself out for me
Echoed the Crystal Cork
of the Moon's Innocence
Opened like Zinfandel
in Micro-Gravity
You could Bubble Upward 
from Sphere to Sphere
and Ship to Ship                                          the Zinfandel reference amid all this kosmic beauty is jarring to me
.....................through the Co-Axial               can't help but think of cable tv, is there a synonym to fit your meaning, even a phrase, "Shared Axis"

And that is how they Spun
this Stuff Called "Earth"
an Elemental Sphere
With Luna Crystal
falling through the Heavens
in a Cascading Vortex
of Angels and Death
Judgement, Despair, and 
Heaving Breasts
Falling Hard
Towards the EArth
which they had Spun, and Still Spin
From the Fountain of Life
If not for the Tree of Knowledge
and the Goodness of the Luna Plant                  Seems like we are missing something between these stanzas

The psylocibin is the Programming Drug
which, tearing life from limb,
gives ascent
to the Sphere's Release
And Shows in Hexygons of Milk                       again, this image doesn't work for me; you don't literally mean milk or do you?
the Moon's Blanket
as not Just Erithu's cover
or it's Tidal Barrier..................
the Mother to the Oceans
Fire Element from it's Crystal
Air from Crystal of Aether
the ground from Inside the Moon
and Wedded 
Through the Trans-Axial                         ditto as to  "co-axial"     would  'crossed axis ' work
to her "heavier" gravitational Mate
Erithu

This is what it means to sin
against the moon
to grow heavy against her
to weigh against her lucid judgement
to tax her serenity
since she, herself, is who spins
the elements
which you inhabit
drawing them together
and combining them
into mural and poesie
and whispers the very aer* of aether 
which you breath

[CRNDLSM]

This required a good deal of concentration to comprehend most of the images.  I sort of want to shout the capital words as if in a frenzy, but also want to pause a few seconds between each line. I feel like there is a specific way to read it and I don't know it but I read it anyway.

On the Starships before I don't believe this is like a space ship, I have to reimagine 'ship'
the Globe was Shrouded in Bliss is this like 'ignorance is bliss'? The time before humans? I can't imagine it without rainbows.
Was Spun from Carbon Sun I like carbon sun, but carbon is life, so what's the life sun
Zero Star Energy to me this line is the humanspark of from carbon sun on the starships to come
Echoed the Crystal Cork I'm hearing a big bang
of the Moon's Innocence llike a collision of some kind
Opened like Zinfandel  not a fan of zinfandel here or anywhere
in Micro-Gravity I can't work out micro-gravity must have tiny mass? A moon as a speck of dust? 
You could Bubble Upward what makes it 'up' I'm stuck in the cosmos.  I would try and cut out 'you'
from Sphere to Sphere
and Ship to Ship  ships again, different from spheres though, spheres like planets or moons, 
.....................through the Co-Axial the coaxial is how we perceive space and time? Like an ant on a wire?

And that is how they Spun 
this Stuff Called "Earth" tthese two lines are weak, so far not much has made sense to me but I can tell these two lines are weak, the 'they' and 'stuff' are too 'layman' too conversational for the barrage of sciency language
an Elemental Sphere earth is not a ship
With Luna Crystal I like this line, reminds me more of a collision
falling through the Heavens maybe there's a better word than 'falling' that could be capitalized
in a Cascading Vortex the vortex takes away the 'falling'
of Angels and Death angels and death go hand and hand almost better than demons would
Judgement, Despair, and
Heaving Breasts this is almost a joke here, a distraction from thought for a direct image.
Falling Hard of course it's hard now
Towards the EArth I like this capital A in EArth and I want to pronounce it differently
which they had Spun, and Still Spin I like the recurring 'spin's and 'spun's.
From the Fountain of Life the carbon sun again?
If not for the Tree of Knowledge still spin
and the Goodness of the Luna Plant the Luna plant is different from the tree of knowledge, yet a similar vein, Luna's heaving breasts, I'm spinning.

The psylocibin is the Programming Drug completely lost me, your giving hallucinogens too much credit here, unless this is the entirety of the poem. Then what do I care? Might as well be DMT
which, tearing life from limb, limb, tree, let go, 
gives ascent up again
to the Sphere's Release not the Earth's release even though earth is a sphere, release towards moon
And Shows in Hexygons of Milk heaving breasts
the Moon's Blanket like a shroud of comfort instead of bliss?
as not Just Erithu's cover I can't Google erithu and know what I'm looking for, the blanket is the cover, erithu is the moon
or it's Tidal Barrier.................. Tidal, maybe erithu is earth
the Mother to the Oceans earth mother
Fire Element from it's Crystal oceans of fire, carbon sun
Air from Crystal of Aether I like the 'air' 'aer'
the ground from Inside the Moon why is 'ground' not capitalized, it's up towards under the moon
and Wedded joined
Through the Trans-Axial after the 'co-axial' imaginary intersection denoting superficial values...
to her "heavier" gravitational Mate cosmic intercourse
Erithu

This is what it means to sin 
against the moon maybe too conversational again like the previous paragraphs first two lines but this time it's fine to me, I like the 'sin against the moon' theme.  
to grow heavy against her can't be helped
to weigh against her lucid judgement of despair and crystal death vortex
to tax her serenity this paragraph is inferior along the transaxial because 'This' is the only capital.  'This' of all words
since she, herself, is who spins again I like the spins
the elements it is an elemental sphere
which you inhabit you could bubble upward before but now you inhabit
drawing them together you draw them together, you make erithu heavier,
and combining them you wedded them.  'Mate' from before seems to take 'you' out of it.  'mate' seems natural, destined, but 'you' make it 
into mural and poesie psilocybin made it
and whispers the very aer* of aether 
which you breath I'm out of breath though 



*the welsh word aer may or may not refer to the spelling of the ancient word aether, 
a loose derivation

The word αἰθήρ (aithḗr) in Homeric Greek means "pure, fresh air" or "clear sky"

I don't know what you're going for, maybe a musing on the love connections between people and nature, science and spirit, space and time, the atmospheric air and the air in our lungs, and everything tied together.  And heaving breasts.  I enjoy your work though, keep writing

[Sapphire26855]

On the Starships before The image of "starship" is a bit vague, because a starship could look like anything. This isn't necessarily a problem, because readers can fill in the blanks, but you could consider using specific details about the ships.
the Globe was Shrouded in Bliss Bliss is also a bit vague, because you don't go into depth that much about it.
Was Spun from Carbon Sun I enjoyed this line because of the rhyme and also the innovative way of connecting the words.
Zero Star Energy 
Echoed the Crystal Cork
of the Moon's Innocence
Opened like Zinfandel
in Micro-Gravity These few lines are where I get lost, because I am unable to draw connections. Maybe it is because I have little experience with these things, but I do feel like there has to be a sense of pause between the images. If you dwell on/flesh out each frame, then the reader might understand what you are trying to say better!
You could Bubble Upward
from Sphere to Sphere
and Ship to Ship I love these lines because they give a sense of progression/action! They ground me more into the poem.
.....................through the Co-Axial The ...... doesn't work for me personally. If you want to add space/tension between Co-Axial and Ship to Ship, I would suggest using words to progress your point, but it is up to you! 

And that is how they Spun
this Stuff Called "Earth"
an Elemental Sphere
With Luna Crystal
falling through the Heavens
in a Cascading Vortex
of Angels and Death
Judgement, Despair, and
Heaving Breasts
Falling Hard
Towards the EArth 
which they had Spun, and Still Spin
From the Fountain of Life
If not for the Tree of Knowledge
and the Goodness of the Luna Plant I loved this entire stanza, and I don't have many comments here. I liked the action/progression and unique images! I also like how you refer to Earth as Stuff, and use biblical allusions.

The psylocibin is the Programming Drug
which, tearing life from limb, You sometimes choose to use punctuation, and sometimes not, which could be a bit jarring.
gives ascent
to the Sphere's Release
And Shows in Hexygons of Milk There seems to be a lot of visual/taste/touch sensory details, but not many auditory sensory details. You could consider showing how these movements sound.
the Moon's Blanket
as not Just Erithu's cover
or it's Tidal Barrier..................
the Mother to the Oceans
Fire Element from it's Crystal
Air from Crystal of Aether
the ground from Inside the Moon
and Wedded
Through the Trans-Axial
to her "heavier" gravitational Mate
Erithu

This is what it means to sin
against the moon
to grow heavy against her
to weigh against her lucid judgement
to tax her serenity
since she, herself, is who spins
the elements
which you inhabit
drawing them together
and combining them
into mural and poesie
and whispers the very aer* of aether
which you breath I like this stanza because of the action paired with description, but I am still unsure of what it means to sin. Maybe there is something I am missing. I do feel like there are ways you could make this poem more concrete, but I am worried that will interfere with your poetic style. I would suggest to identify the main points you want the reader to come away with and find ways to surface them in the poem. I really enjoyed reading! I hope this was helpful! 



*the welsh word aer may or may not refer to the spelling of the ancient word aether, 
a loose derivation

The word αἰθήρ (aithḗr) in Homeric Greek means "pure, fresh air" or "clear sky"