Un Gringo Enamorado

[Tiger the Lion]

Un Gringo Enamorado 

Teach me
how to love 
in latin,

how to poise
my anxious tongue
against dangerous
new words,

Teach me how to roll
my r's when you enter

how to dance

Si,

teach me 
how to dance with you.

[RiverNotch]

Yeah, I shouldn't be anything but concise. If you were already reading that start of a critique, sorry xD

But yeah, my mind was and still is latching on to the ironies of this verse.

"how to poise
my lazy tongue
against dangerous
new words"

reads somewhat self-critical with "lazy", but nevertheless anxious, in a racist sort of way, with "dangerous new words". And then there's "dance", which in any other context would be more neutral.

I dunno. I like this sort of sleaze. I like writing it. I like addressing particular people, usually women, with it. But usually I have the sort of unequal relationship with the women I write this towards that sorta evens out -- that is, while they're women, they're also white, whereas I'm not (apparently, I'm too verbose xD). In fact, for more than three hundred years my country spoke mainly Spanish, and my other language still rolls its r's. Whereas with this piece, things feel unbalanced. Which might be intentional -- the title certainly seems critical to me -- but aside from all this irony, there doesn't seem to be much else for me to appreciate. There's not enough dazzle.

[Tiger the Lion]

Made a few minor changes but lost the original. Thanks for the input.

Yeah, I shouldn't be anything but concise. If you were already reading that start of a critique, sorry xD

But yeah, my mind was and still is latching on to the ironies of this verse.

"how to poise
my lazy tongue
against dangerous
new words"

reads somewhat self-critical with "lazy", but nevertheless anxious, in a racist sort of way, with "dangerous new words". And then there's "dance", which in any other context would be more neutral.

I dunno. I like this sort of sleaze. I like writing it. I like addressing particular people, usually women, with it. But usually I have the sort of unequal relationship with the women I write this towards that sorta evens out -- that is, while they're women, they're also white, whereas I'm not (apparently, I'm too verbose xD). In fact, for more than three hundred years my country spoke mainly Spanish, and my other language still rolls its r's. Whereas with this piece, things feel unbalanced. Which might be intentional -- the title certainly seems critical to me -- but aside from all this irony, there doesn't seem to be much else for me to appreciate. There's not enough dazzle.