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Short Walk to the Spirit (A Tercet)
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01-20-2011, 03:46 AM
Church glimpsed between two rundown shops,
blue door at the end of a dark alleyway: Short walk to the spirit nobody will take.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
01-20-2011, 07:37 AM
feels a little off kilter flow wise for me jack.
would "a" on the 1st line and "the' on the last help it a little? is 'two' needed? other than that the content is good and the feeling of acceptance of failure is great. nicely done 
01-20-2011, 10:26 AM
Thank you for the kind words and feedback Billy
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
01-21-2011, 02:00 PM
I like the alluring vagueness of the scenario, and how it tied together with that pitch-perfect ending. Personally, I liked the specificness of how you described the imagery, just imo
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
01-21-2011, 11:01 PM
Thank you for your kind words, Addy
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
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