Character building:

[billy]

i saw the phrase in the sewer and wondered;

what is character, what builds character, How is it defined?
i would have said hardship but i'm not sure it does. hardship can also destroy character, i've seen it done. i'll come back to this one.

[thethingy]

I know being a character and having character are two different things, is having character something that you just get when you age?

[srijantje]

circumstances build character[?]that plus your natural inclination

[mrmod]

For me it's when you cultivate values such as patience, perseverance, honesty, autonomy and more through your own experience.

These experiences can sometimes, as vf showed by example, be physically and mentally challenging but the rewards are great.

[billy]

i'm more on dans side. (sorry sj)
i think it comes from a set of values we try and live by.
i'm sure that many who have toiled through snows to deliver papers still beat their wives after sunday lunch.
i believe that while our surroundings help form our character, the kernel of it lays within us at birth.
i've known lazy people with good character and strong fit "i have to succeed people" without it,
if it was about perseverance what aren't half the convicts in the world who workout 6 hours a day full of this thing called character.
i think it's about courage and honour and passion. the things that can't be quantified.

[srijantje]

yes,natural inclination

[billy]

sorry, i passed over that one a little too quickly

yes sj. for me thats the major role player in a persons character.

[mrmod]

Yes, but billy you must realize we're not perfect. The guy that toils in the snow may beat his wife. And then again the guy that doesn't toil in the snow may beat his wife as well.

Your character is who you are, and that is ruled by what you've gone through that has shaped you to be who you are. You asked what we thought "character building" was and each one of us gave the same gist, but with different specification. And this is, paraphrasing you, because you can't really quantify it. You can't even quantify a bad character.

[mrmod]

Just don't forget that even though you may have a good character doesn't mean that you don't have deep flaws. (And I'm not standing up for the wife-beaters here, I'm just saying that you don't know everything about a person ).

[srijantje]

i think we can safely say that everybody has flaws one way or another

[billy]

Just don't forget that even though you may have a good character doesn't mean that you don't have deep flaws. (And I'm not standing up for the wife-beaters here, I'm just saying that you don't know everything about a person ).

like you and sj say, everyone has flaws, of course they do. but vf also says:
To me, a person of good character is one who is honourable, trustworthy and well mannered.
That pretty well leaves out the slobs and the wife beaters.
so sorry but i can't call the man who clears the snow and beats his wife of good character, the same i can't call a rapist or pedo or killer, someone of good character.

while i know nothing about most people i do know what i think. manson oj hitler the man next door who plays with kids, the murderer the rapist etc ad infinitum do not posses good characters as far as i'm concerned.

while being kind to animals is a good trait for someone to have it in and of itself does not mean that person has a good character. i think we all have flaws but some have flaws that detract too much, for the diamond to be worthy of purchase.

i'm not sure manners maketh the character either. i know many ill mannered people that would put good mannered people to shame in the good character stakes.

how would i describe my character...that would be "not good" but we're not talking about me (thanks a deity of your choice )

[billy]

not always, some people live by an honour code. not all codes of honour are the same.

i think your last line is apt though. that said people often treat others with the respect they think is deserved.

i think being of good character has a lot to do with doing what's right when it's possible

[mrmod]

Then again, that depends on the perception of what is "right". Some believe it's right to smack children when they're naughty, some believe that to be despicable.

So is a good character someone that does actions most people approve of? I wouldn't say so, I doubt you would either.

It's hard to define.

[billy]

of course right or wrong are perceived differently by all of us,
but if we keep it within a paradigm of not overly excessive or overly lax.
for instance, to my mind both the parent who lightly chastises a child with a smacked
leg can be of as good a character as someone who doesn't smack, or vice versa.
it's the extremes where they whip a child with a belt or punch the child etc, or where they just let the child run wild.

a person of good character is i suppose hard to define but if i spent a little time with them i think i could make a sound judgement call (in most cases)

[srijantje]

lots of societies have different sets of values or no values at all

[billy]

fair enough but lets try and use the western values, after all it's where most of us come from.

does anyone insist on their meal being ready when they come home from work?

[srijantje]

when i'm working[guiding]the meals are prepared by a cook and helpers,at home when i'm sitting around i contribute to the preparing of food,mostly cutting the veggies and such.

[billy]

was that an answer for the sexist thread sj?

[srijantje]

i was just playing the downtrodden family man
back on topic/shit mod

[billy]

i think when alls said and done you may have a point, in a household like yours, children would see that dad helps out in the kitchen., that has to be a good life lesson when trying to mould a child's character