Creation
#1
Creation

why is there something 
rather than nothing?
a question often heard

because no matter

how unlikely
the universe might be

nothing

would be more absurd
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#2
It is pretty bare bones, love the idea. One suggestion is adding some minimal punctuation. I get and like the stylist choice to go no caps, though I would suggest getting rid of the "because" and adding a period at the end of the poem.
Fun read, thanks for the post and puns.
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
--mark twain
Bunx
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#3
Hello Bunx,

Thank you for reading and commenting.

I feel the lack of punctuation gives an ambiguous edge to the narration, which I like.
because? - because it's an explanation (is that irony?)

I appreciate your encouraging words.............Philip
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#4
i don't think there's anything wrong with this poem, it's very insightful, philosophical, it's structured in a way that gives each thought weight. This exposes "nothing" as just meaning an absence of something.
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#5
(11-18-2020, 02:31 AM)philip Wrote:  Creation

why is there something 
rather than nothing?
a question often heard I like the rhyme here with absurd, but I wonder what this line is doing otherwise? The syntax is a little twisted. Taking out this line has little effect on the meaning of the poem

because no matter Can because be cut?

how unlikely
the universe might be

nothing

would be more absurd


Hey creation, I'm longing for an image in this poem, or something to hold onto, perhaps a puzzling ambiguity, I'm not sure.  It is clever. Thnx for sharing!
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#6
Hello Socialite, thank you for reading and commenting.

Hello Miley, thank you dropping by and commenting.

a question often heard - is most necessary.
It shows that the narrator is not answering their own question, which would be rather dull.
It implies that the question is an old-age mystery.
The line gives the reader a pause to reflect on the question.
The syntax is perfectly fine.

because - because as I've already explained. It is an explanation, and without it, the grammar and hence the message, do not make sense.
and I like the stand alone line 'because no matter' which chimes with the context.

You want imagery in absolutely nothing? Good luck...

cheers..........P
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#7
why is there something
rather than nothing?
a question often heard

because no matter

how unlikely
the universe might be

nothing

would be more absurd

Due to the length, I don't believe punctuation would be needed.
I would remove the word because and just have no matter.
For me each line describes your intentions perfectly

Enjoyed
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#8
hello Gator, thank you for reading and commenting.

because - because no one has given a reason for not including it.

appreciate the encouragement..........P
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#9
(11-18-2020, 02:31 AM)philip Wrote:  Creation

why is there something 
rather than nothing?
a question often heard

because no matter

how unlikely
the universe might be

nothing

would be more absurd

I would change the line and say (without matter) rather than because no matter, however that's just me thinking out loud !!
It just sounds more to the point you are conveying.
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#10
Hello Gator, thank you for responding.

I think you misunderstand the concept - the matter in question, only adds weight to the unlikelihood of the universe, it's not real matter (or lack of).
I'll spell it out- because no matter how unlikely the universe might be, nothing would be more absurd - us poets are known for throwing shapes...
because - joins the question to the answer - otherwise, it would sound like two separate statements.

cheers..........P
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