What would Albert Einstein do?
#1
What would Albert Einstein do?


     
Albert Einstein famously said
And I’m confident it’s true
Anyone who never made a mistake
Has never tried something new
Now Albert’s brain was clinical
A hot shot PHD
I smile, though I’m cynical 
It sounds like work to me
 
Bocce balls are heavier than you’d think
See the label of everything you drink
Be honest when it’s easy, the rest is up to you
I wonder, what would Albert Einstein do?
 
I don’t have that proclivity
There are knots I can’t untwist
I’m fuzzy on relativity
But I think I get the gist
You get to a point where you are who you are
And folks should just calm down
So, I’ll pick a simple hobby
And do it on level ground
 
So, what makes me different from everyone else
I tell you I’m not so sure
I do what I can with what I’ve got
Intentions mostly pure
I guess people think I’m docile
An island on the blue
If I fall will it make me a fossil
What would Albert Einstein do?
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#2
The third stanza makes some kind of argument. The rest just appear to be lines slapped together with end rhymes.
Saying that Einstein was “a hot shot PhD” is like saying that Shakespeare was “literate”. It’s a vast understatement for no apparent point.
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#3
Hi Jack, an interesting poem you've got here that could be greatly improved just by the use of punctuation which would make it so much easier to read, I've left a few notes below.

(09-19-2020, 09:49 AM)Yjack123 Wrote:  What would Albert Einstein do?                         ----- the question would be better as 'What would Einstein do?', then it 
                                                                           would mirror the famous refrain 'What would Jesus do?' which it may
                                                                            be a reference to. 
     
Albert Einstein famously said                            ------ Don't need 'Albert'
And I’m confident it’s true                                ----- Do need some kind of punctuation, is this the quote or the next line
Anyone who never made a mistake                   ---- quotation marks either side of the quote
Has never tried something new
Now Albert’s brain was clinical                         ----- this line would work better if you get rid of the 'Albert' from 1st line
A hot shot PHD
I smile, though I’m cynical                               ----- cynical about what? It's not really clear
It sounds like work to me
 
Bocce balls are heavier than you’d think               ----- not getting this reference 
See the label of everything you drink                    ---- and I'm struggling with this line also
Be honest when it’s easy, the rest is up to you
I wonder, what would Albert Einstein do?              ---- drop the 'Albert' 
 
I don’t have that proclivity                                  ---- which proclivity?  
There are knots I can’t untwist                             ----- nice line referencing knot theory in mathematics???
I’m fuzzy on relativity
But I think I get the gist                                       
You get to a point where you are who you are      ----- clumsy line,  too many 'you' 
And folks should just calm down
So, I’ll pick a simple hobby
And do it on level ground
 
So, what makes me different from everyone else    ----- don't need 'so' it clashes with 'so' in next line. Also needs question                                                                                    mark
I tell you I’m not so sure
I do what I can with what I’ve got
Intentions mostly pure
I guess people think I’m docile                    ----- do docile and fossil rhyme? it may be an accent thing
An island on the blue
If I fall will it make me a fossil                    ----- I'm not getting this line
What would Albert Einstein do?                   ----- drop 'Albert'

Initially the poem is quite hard to read due to the lack of punctuation and the capitalisation of the first word on every line.
As regards content, the third stanza kind of draws it together although I'm still left a little confused. As a final thought it would probably work better if you changed the title so that it's not the refrain, something like, but definitely not 'It's all relative to me'

Cheers for the read,

Mark
feedback award way aye man
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#4
hello - I was intrigued by the title - physics and poetry?
lots of good advice already given - so I'll try a different tack
and I'm rather disappointed that the poem's only concern is the condition and thoughts of the narrator - why appeal to Einstein? - he wasn't a philosopher...

there are too many lines that seem separate statements - for the rhyme? - lacking cohesion and a stemming the narrative.

the resolution is unclear - another reference to the narrator? - who cares unless you can make it relative? (pun on purpose) - by showing it...

the writing is good (if unpunctuated) with a wide vocabulary and nice poetic phrasing - and with rhyming that was engagingly inconsistent- just get the message right......
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