Honor

[Cesar]

Any suggestions or criticism is completely welcome. I haven't written in forever, and really fell out of it, please, anything is helpful. 

You ran, 
I stumbled,
You eased, 
I struggled,
You look down on me, 
But I am stronger, 
I overcame my past, 
Tiptoed through the rubble,
No one knew my pain, 
That I overcame
My path was harder, 
But here I stand
Made it another day
Humbly, 
I accept the honor.

[Knot]

.
Hi Cesar,
I'm not sure you're title's really helping you, it might be worth a second look.
I'd also consider trimming, somewhat. (What happened to the 'you' of the first
part?)

Just food for thought ...


Humble.


I overcame my past,
Tiptoed through rubble,
[the] harder path
No one knew
That I overcame
But I Made it here
another day



Best, Knot


.

[Cesar]

Thanks a ton for the suggestions, but honor is the prompt for competition, and I was wondering if I should completely rewrite but it's due tomorrow.

[busker]

Any suggestions or criticism is completely welcome. I haven't written in forever, and really fell out of it, please, anything is helpful. 

You ran, 
I stumbled,
You eased, 
I struggled,
You look down on me, 
But I am stronger, 
I overcame my past, 
Tiptoed through the rubble,
No one knew my pain, 
That I overcame
My path was harder, 
But here I stand
Made it another day
Humbly, 
I accept the honor.

The punctuation needs some attending to, but otherwise a plain and simple message (in a good way)

[savannah]

Any suggestions or criticism is completely welcome. I haven't written in forever, and really fell out of it, please, anything is helpful. 

You ran, 
I stumbled,
You eased, 
I struggled,
You look down on me, 
But I am stronger, 
I overcame my past, 
Tiptoed through the rubble,
No one knew my pain, 
That I overcame
My path was harder, 
But here I stand
Made it another day
Humbly, 
I accept the honor.

A nice, simple poem. I would probably prefer a little show vs. tell, as to showing us how you're stronger? Other than that, I like the sentiment behind the poem.

[dahow13]

I really like the over all feeling of the poem. The two lines after "No one knew my pain" a little redundant. I think that your growth has been being showcased already and the uses of the word overcame again doesn't add too much to the poem. When you say "my path was harder" that reinforce the first four lines of the poem. However I feel like the idea was already communicated well. I really do like the lase four lines of the poem though. Thank you for sharing.