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Joined: May 2014
Manifesto
Pop always told me
y'all were out to murder
God. How you'd never be happy
till His name was outlawed
and His body defiled.
Said duty might one day
call upon me to roll the stone away,
and how I best get to building
some muscle, and figurin'
just what I'm gonna do
about the guards.
Well folks, I done it all perfect
and I'm writing it down
all clever-like
so the TV don't say I'm a nut.
Y'all are the nuts -
I'm just makin' my daddy proud.
Posts: 142
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I felt like a badass country thug after reading this.
Crit away
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Threads: 230
Joined: Oct 2010
(08-21-2019, 11:12 AM)Tiger the Lion Wrote: Manifesto
Pop always told me
y'all were out to murder
God. How you'd never be happy
till His name was outlawed
and His body defiled.
Said duty might one day
call upon me to roll the stone away,
and how I best get to building
some muscle, and figurin'
just what I'm gonna do
about the guards.
Well folks, I done it all perfect
and I'm writing it down
all clever-like
so the TV don't say I'm a nut.
Y'all are the nuts -
I'm just makin' my daddy proud.
But did you roll it away from the inside or the outside?
Loved the tone of this.
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
Posts: 342
Threads: 206
Joined: May 2013
Hahaha this piece is goofy yet oddly oddly topical in my neck of the woods. Ideological conflict in my state is at all a all time high. My partner work up to a dented car because of an (assumed) LGBTQ / leftist pride stickers. I feel like this piece without being over-the-top seriously reflects alot of the hypocrisy around militant following of ideology that at one point of my life seemed alot more blurred / none threatening.
Thanks for the read, so neat, so clever!
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
--mark twain
Bunx
Posts: 57
Threads: 11
Joined: May 2014
(08-21-2019, 11:12 AM)Tiger the Lion Wrote: Manifesto
Pop always told me
y'all were out to murder
God. How you'd never be happy
till His name was outlawed
and His body defiled.
Said duty might one day
call upon me to roll the stone away,
and how I best get to building
some muscle, and figurin'
just what I'm gonna do
about the guards.
Well folks, I done it all perfect
and I'm writing it down
all clever-like
so the TV don't say I'm a nut.
Y'all are the nuts -
I'm just makin' my daddy proud.
I like this. I like how what we learn from our parents doesn't always get learned as they intended. One small suggestion. I think "y'all out to murder" is a better fit with the colloquial language than "y'all were out to murder"
