Thinking of Trees

[Bunx]

Thinking of Trees

I wake
to mourning.

Yesterdays tragedies,
or eventual victories?
A rainbow trout jumps
on a weighted line
their one last chance
to feel alive.

Clouded areas, invoke thought.
Is sacrifice romantic?
Drops of water
bring new world
on old Deciduous leaves.

Evaporation illuminates
Young Birch tethered to earth
a grave of colors.
Still there after death.

I am not water,
I am just a boy.
Reborn from the past.

Mourning transcends
through my soul.
I can't accept it,
but see son around
my friend.

[rowens]

Some commas serve the purpose of dashes, but that's all right, they're consistent. Though a period here or there seems out of place. You tend to be consistent in that too, over time. You use similarities more than similies or metaphor. Another tendency. As sincere Occasional poetry, that's what you do.

[Bunx]

Thanks for the feedback rowens, I'll skimp down the punctuation, after re-reading later today I see how the poem could benefit. I have been struggling with writing lately, trying to find my voice, style, and direction. Anyways, thanks for the feedback!