Unmasking

[ginaparaoan]

UNMASKING

Soft and fluffy
White cotton candy
Stripping canvass
Of layered plaster
To make way for air
Out of embarrassed holes

A ritual
For a different kind of warrior
Exposing tenderness
To an open zoo

Embellished
But bare in the quiet
Reconciled to ugliness
Meek at beauty

[billy]

hi gina, at present after a couple of reads i'm struggling to get a handle on this one. i ended up thinking of the art world and art renovation. i'm sure i'm wrong though. because of this i'd like to have a few odd lines help me out. wish i could be more helpful.

[rowens]

This is pretty good. It makes me keep reading it over and over. In that pure kind of poetry way. When I think of pure poetry, well what I mean by that is, it's pure words, words and sound. Every time I read it, it meant something different. And the title became more, or rather, less revealing of the meaning of the poem each time I read it.

---

But of course if this was supposed to mean something very specific, you failed horribly at that. But of course I might be the one that's failing.

[dukealien]

This is nice, though I'm not certain what kind of nice.  In basic critique, a few specifics with more generalized beneath.

UNMASKING

Soft and fluffy
White cotton candy
Stripping canvass  unless this is intentional, "canvas" has only one "s"
Of layered plaster if "[o]f" were "off" here, could also become "from" - but "[o]f" identifying canvas as plaster is also good
To make way for air
Out of embarrassed holes if you were using punctuation, em-dash could work at the end of this line.  It's a choice.

A ritual
For a different kind of warrior
Exposing tenderness
To an open zoo very neat and unexpected ("zoo") which, to me, has overtones of the entire zoo[ological] kingdom under sky

Embellished
But bare in the quiet if you were using punctuation, end of this line would be a good place for it
Reconciled to ugliness another spot for a comma
Meek at beauty very tightly packed three words!  Like this closing.

About two and a half interpretations spring to mind here:  clouds opening to reveal a sky which then graces the world below, or removal of cotton garments to reveal flesh (supported, in the first stanza, by repeated "a$$" syllables).  Or some combination of those two.

Although I'm not one of those (and they're many) who disapprove of beginning each line of poetry with capitalization regardless of sentence structure, considering it archaic, I don't think it's helping you here.  It looks a little odd without punctuation, giving the impression of a column of, not sentence fragments, but never-completed sentence beginnings as if each line ended with ellipsis (...)  You might try going full e.e.cummings by removing all capitalization, and see if you like how it looks and reads.

A few phrases seem like cliches (including your first line), but separated out like this they also show the merits that led to their becoming cliches - the alliteration of "soft and fluffy," for example.

And, last, your title.  It works as an active description of the process - either clouds parting or clothing being removed - in the secondary way of pulling off masking tape or dropping the camoflage of a masked battery.  It doesn't quite fit in its primary meaning of removing a disguise, at least as I interpret the poem.  Which is more likely a symptom of my not interpreting it correctly:  the secondary meanings are perfectly OK.

Interesting and ambiguous, which is not a bad quality.  Thanks for posting!

[windsor89]

I find this poem great in an artistic sense, but I am struggling to make sense of a deeper metaphorical hint to it. Sorry if this wasn't helpful feedback.

[rowens]

Each stanza tells its own story. I still find it working good, on this other day. Three versions of unmasking. Is that it?

---

You're trying to make other people make your own personal connections. And I think I, and the other people who commented are seeing them. We're just not sure. But if we are, you have succeeded.

---

In that pure poetic way I was talking about.

[Quixilated]

Hello, gina,

This poem is a bit vague, and so is probably going to invite different interpretations from different readers.  I read it to be a person removing makeup (the "mask") at the end of the day and, in the process, going from confident to self conscious.  Therefore all my comments will be made with that interpretation in mind.  If that is not what the poem means, then please disregard my suggestions.  

-Quix

UNMASKING

Soft and fluffy
White cotton candy Cotton candy is already soft and fluffy, so the previous adjectives are not necessary.  However, I'd almost prefer "soft white cotton" and leave off the candy. 
Stripping canvass  if you change "stripping" to "strips" then your entire poem will become one complete sentence, rather than a series of fragments.  
Of layered plaster
To make way for air
Out of embarrassed holes  this line tripped me up.  pores do need to breathe, but that is implied in the previous line already.   

A ritual
For a different kind of warrior I like this image.  Warriors through history have often worn masks and paints, and facing the expectations and standards of society can feel like a battle.  
Exposing tenderness
To an open zoo  I do not understand the zoo.  Is this ritual happening in public for some reason?  

Embellished perhaps move the zoo to this line so that the word "embellished" doesn't have to stand alone?  Something like "Embellished before an open zoo" ?
But bare in the quiet
Reconciled to ugliness  I like this line. 
Meek at beauty