I wonder if there's someone-

[Lawrence]

I wonder if there’s someone
Everybody wants to fuck.

A charmer of nuns
And housewives
Who never had
To purchase cologne,
Slip anything
In a drink,
Or rely on a fifty
To buy company.

“Oh, that Gregory”
His mother would say.
“He’s been fucking
Since he knew
How to tie a shoe”
And of course,
The mother would’ve
Fucked him too.

He’d hobble
To assisted living
And blood would roar
Through Grandmother’s legs
Like a flash-flood; sprinting
For the first time in decades

[heslopian]

I wonder if there’s someone
Everybody wants to fuck.

A charmer of nuns A charmer of nuns? Did you mean "chamber"?
And housewives
Who never had
To purchase cologne,
Slip anything
In a drink,
Or rely on a fifty
To buy company.

“Oh, that Gregory”
His mother would say. This confused me a bit. The focus went from a load of women to one specific man very suddenly, without much explanatory transition. Perhaps you could add another verse to ease Gregory into the narrative more?
“He’s been fucking
Since he knew
How to tie a shoe”
And of course,
The mother would’ve
Fucked him too. This made me laugh in a scandalised way

He’d hobble
To assisted living
And blood would roar
Through Grandmother’s legs An apostrophe isn't needed after "grandmothers," as it's intended as a plural here. Also, why is it capitalised?
Like a flash-flood; sprinting I think you need a comma after "legs" and "flood," putting "Like a flash-flood" in parenthesis. The syntax here is somewhat odd.
For the first time in decades

A very amusing poem, somewhat like a limerick. Thanks for the read

[billy]

I wonder if there’s someone
Everybody wants to fuck. [for me this couplet feels unnecessary ]

A charmer of nuns
And housewives
Who never had
To purchase cologne,
Slip anything
In a drink,
Or rely on a fifty
To buy company.

“Oh, that Gregory”
His mother would say.
“He’s been fucking
Since he knew
How to tie a shoe”
And of course,
The mother would’ve
Fucked him too.

He’d hobble
To assisted living
And blood would roar
Through Grandmother’s legs
Like a flash-flood; sprinting
For the first time in decades

it's pretty gross if looked at in depth and extremely funny and extremely good (for me) if i had one nit it would be that the opening couplet isn't needed in such a good piece. the enjamby thing is spot on and the content is rip roaringly funny. i think if it had a few brothers and sisters it would make a decent collection. you could call it 'the trials and tribulations of Gregory.

excellent Lawrence, i haven't picked a line out as good because i think all but the first two are.

And of course,
The mother would’ve
Fucked him too. this was the gross part though it fits n with the piece.

thanks for the read.