Nonother

[CRNDLSM]

No one will save you.  Follow your instincts
as the water rises, covers the shore.
Homes and less sturdy crafts, as their hope sinks,
break in the ocean's unforgiving roar.
Know, a sound mind, will cut the turbulence,
and stay afloat, drifting above the waves,
maintaining the course set by circumstance,
seeking a future only courage paves.
Noa needs confuse the company kept,
when rationed food would vanish in the night.
What could be done, as you the captain, slept,
and images of land passed out of sight?
No wonder, when you got there, you got drunk.
No wonder you wish you had stayed,  and sunk.

[dukealien]

No one will save you.  Follow your instincts
as the water rises, covers the shore.
Homes and less sturdy crafts, as their hope sinks, collective plural noun would be "craft" unless you're referring to their arts and skills metaphorically... which would also enrich the meaning of "[h]omes."
break in the ocean's unforgiving roar.
Know, a sound mind, will cut the turbulence,
and stay afloat, drifting above the waves,
maintaining the course set by circumstance,
seeking a future only courage paves. 
Noa needs confuse the company kept,  This line is hard to parse and interpret.  It's the first clear reference to Noah and the ark, can't help wondering why this spelling and absence of a "to" or other connecting word.
when rationed food would vanish in the night.
What could be done, as you the captain, slept,
and images of land passed out of sight?
No wonder, when you got there, you got drunk.
No wonder you wish you had stayed,  and sunk.  Nice tie to the Ham incident.

In mild critique, looking on this as a lyric rather than strict Shakespearean sonnet meant to be read silently or aloud...

Rhyming "instincts" and "sinks" is amusing, as is (to a lesser degree)  "turbulence" and "circumstance."

Food vanishing in the night... does this refer to Tubal-Caine stowed away on the Ark, per the 2014 movie?  Or a second personality of today's lonely Noa?

I have a minor problem with "paves."  It's metaphorical, but seems to need a second reference point... for example, if the line read,

 seeking a sea-road only courage paves  

or the like rather than "future."

There are other points that could be modified if you wanted to stick more closely to iambic pentameter - for example, l2 could read,

as water rises, covering the shore.

but your first line announces that meter will not be exact, and that's OK.

What I'm saying is, there's probably a melody behind the words, that departs from IP.  That being the case, only a general encouragement to use more specific words to replace "the," and clarification of what L9 is trying to say.

Interesting ideas and connections, loneliness of captaining your own boat/life!  Thanks for posting.

[billy]

a really good attempt at a sonnet the meter feels okay. the sonnet's separated as it should be into it's three character parts. the couple feels a little forced but a good solid effort none the less. [nonother ] i think is either two words or hyphenated. i like the slight meter deviations in a couple of the lines. though when doen i might need another half foot, example;

To be, or not to be, that is the question though it's probable not mandatory, it does give off a more lyrical sound

No one will save you. Follow your instincts
as the water rises, covers the shore.
Homes and less sturdy crafts, as their hope sinks, [craft] no need for their unless you attribute hope to what the house and craft feel
break in the ocean's unforgiving roar. i like the poem so far you've created a type of chaos to it
Know, a sound mind, will cut the turbulence, seems like a lot of comma's
and stay afloat, drifting above the waves,
maintaining the course set by circumstance,
seeking a future only courage paves. this and the two lines above need an image, as is it's to tell and no show.
Noa needs confuse the company kept,
when rationed food would vanish in the night.
What could be done, as you the captain, slept,
and images of land passed out of sight?
No wonder, when you got there, you got drunk.
No wonder you wish you had stayed, and sunk.

---

Peanut butter honey banana sandwiches

[alonso ramoran]

Hi CRNDLSM,

Your meter does feel off and the meanings of some lines seem to struggle to be understood through the rules of rhyme and meter.

No one will save you.  Follow your instincts instincts reads here as in-STINCTS as opposed to the normal IN-stincts. This could throw some people off. Other than that, the first line is a grabber imo, but the ending rhymes of L1 & 3 might need some adjusting.
as the water rises, covers the shore. this line is trochaic, except the last foot, which is more of an iamb. Maybe restructure as something like "as water inundates the sandy shore". Ofc shores are sandy, please feel free to change that modifier and maybe "inundates" bc it sounds a little too technical to my ears
Homes and less sturdy crafts, as their hope sinks, Meter is a mess here too, refer to the sound of the example in my previous comment please
break in the ocean's unforgiving roar. Meter here is perfect. Nice image too.
Know, a sound mind, will cut the turbulence, Check meter.
and stay afloat, drifting above the waves,
maintaining the course set by circumstance,
seeking a future only courage paves.
Noa needs confuse the company kept, h missing in Noa?
when rationed food would vanish in the night.
What could be done, as you the captain, slept,
and images of land passed out of sight?
No wonder, when you got there, you got drunk.
No wonder you wish you had stayed, and  sunk.

I'll try to revisit with something more in depth about the actual meanings and images rather than technicalities.

Best of luck, Alex

[CRNDLSM]

Thank you so much for these critiques. Before I make any edits I should note it's from challenge x during the ice princess poetry thing earlier this year, I wanted to write about Noah without saying Noah. That's a maori word I googled meaning Definition of noa - (in Maori society) not subject to religious or superstitious restriction; allowed.
Which seemed to fit. But since the challenge is over I can make it say Noah and change some other lines. I sort of started a series on natural disasters and am making this the flood poem, so it may end up more lyrical in the end, but being able to write a decent sonnet is in my wish list so I'm going to try for that first.

[cloud]

syntax & semantics really dont matter all too much, I just think there's room to distill your lines more concisely
based on my limited perception

I don't think the concept itself requires revision.
Just watch out when forcing a narrative to support the main idea
I think good poetry reflects on itself in a subtle way
as though lines can only grasp at the idea but can't directly define its parameters.

No one will save you.  Follow your instincts, the opener is too explicit, though I understand its function here
as the water rises, covers the shore.
rising waters cover the shoreline
Homes and less sturdy crafts, as their hope sinks,
hope sinks along with homes and less sturdy crafts
break in the ocean's unforgiving roar. nice. consider 'crash' in place of 'break', just preference
Know, a sound mind will cut the turbulence,
and stay afloat, drifting above the waves,
sweeping waves carve
maintaining the course set by circumstance,
at the mercy of each swing
seeking a future only courage paves.
absent of courage,
Noa needs confuse the company kept,
but rife with faith
when rationed food would vanish in the night.
What could be done, as you, the captain, slept;
and images of land passed out of sight
No wonder, when you got there, you got drunk.
                       upon arrival, drunk in vain
No wonder you wish you had stayed,  and sunk.
 corporal state disdain, you should have been the one blah blah