ATM machines steal my brain

[LiteraryAntiquity]

You looked at me with those soggy, brown eyes as I became an ATMs clientele.
Primarily a brain for the machine to steal...and make stupid.
"You're going to forget me," you whisper and nod with the ruffles in your lines.
"You're going to leave me at the cash machine like the sponsored swimmer who lost the race.
I have no holes in me!
I am not flawed!
Am I not good enough to be your vintage shelter? You're going to forget me, aren't you?
Oh yes, you are...See, walking away...what did I tell you?"
I'm only commenting on these things
because I am so much more than royally pissed off.
I left my vintage umbrella proped against a wall while I took yet more money out.
Overdrawn
and cold
and wet.

[billy]

i think some of the lines are a little long but
i like it. in truth i like it a whole lot.
some of the lines are superb in their originality.
i also like the wit.
i think a bit of enjambment would make this a really good great prose poem LA

thanks for the read as always.

[LiteraryAntiquity]

i think some of the lines are a little long but
i like it. in truth i like it a whole lot.
some of the lines are superb in their originality.
i also like the wit.
i think a bit of enjambment would make this a really good great prose poem LA

thanks for the read as always.

Okay so I've sort of cheated the eight line thing but hopefully it works better for it. =]

[LiteraryAntiquity]

i think some of the lines are a little long but
i like it. in truth i like it a whole lot.
some of the lines are superb in their originality.
i also like the wit.
i think a bit of enjambment would make this a really good great prose poem LA

thanks for the read as always.

Okay so I've sort of cheated the eight line thing but hopefully it works better for it. =]