Migration

[Lawrence]

When I see shadowed figures massed in Vs-
Black, flapping companies of arrowheads
Fired by an urge which most birds carry,
I want to treat them like a taxi; thrust
My palm upwards, hoping that they glance down
To catch the ant asking for a quick lift.
Oh, I know that even if they see me
I doubt they’ll think too much of it. A man-
Does not posses a pair of wings to spread.
It makes me want to call the friends I have-
Choose a time, a place; map a lengthy route
Which skewers the savage, snow crowned mountains
And glides over oceans, into unknown
Continents; temperate and quaint paradises;
New homes, untapped by man and bird alike.
We’d gather in our own shape, not a sharp
Loud locomotive, like pointed geese make,
But a loose O, our calm eyes smiling;
Expecting deviation. Welcoming
Of all who wish to join the migration.

[billy]

i don't think i want to change any of it, or comment that something needs changing.
for me it works as is. i don't think it profound or fantastic but i do feel it's a well rounded piece of poetry that.s easy to the eye and ear. i like the sentiment of it and some of the imagery.
my little nit would be a cap on each line, even if it isn't the beginning of a new sentence but as usual thats jmo

thanks for posting what for me was a good write.

[addy]

This is a really great piece. Around the middle part I found it pleasant enough, like a nice train of thought poem that smoothly glides through the pleasant visuals. But the image of the O-formation was so striking, so profound and magical, the perfect heart to this poem. Nicely done

[Lawrence]

THanks guys!

Billy: I know why you might dislike this. This piece was my attempting at emulating Robert Frost's "Birches". I know you're not a fan, but he was my poetic hero as a kid; I think I got my first hard-on to "Stopping by Woods"

[billy]

i'm not a fan but i do realize that he wrote good poetry, just not the stuff i like. i can still see the quality of it though

hard on and stopping by the woods made me laugh , thanks hehe