Unbreakable bond

[Keith]

First light that falls on open eyes,
scatters into saucers,
settling like silver returning
to the deepest part of black.

I held that moments careful quiet,
gripped by translucent fingernails
so small, so imperfectly real.
Inhaled your sweet and perfect pale
that deepened scent of skin revealed.
My breath spread incantations
that promised you my touch.

The kiss I forged on your forehead
would only let in dreams, tell stories
of the worlds we’d weave and all
the songs they’ll come to sing.

[vagabond]

First light that falls on open eyes
scatters into saucers,
settling like silver returning
to the deepest part of black.               like the universe just birthed another life.. black is not allowed to be scary in my read, more like blank and hopeful.. silver resets.

I held that moments careful quiet,                 "moment´s"?
gripped by translucent fingernails           
so small, so imperfectly real.                             
Inhaled your sweet and perfect pale            
that deepened scent of skin revealed.          
My breath spread incantations
that promised you my touch.                love sounds too cheesy, but is what i ´ve read here instead of touch.

The kiss I forged on your forehead
would only let in dreams, tell stories             why "only" in dreams..    but i think i remember a similar poem. you could write "told you stories in your dreams"
of the worlds we’d weave and all
the songs they’ll come to sing.

a precious memory in slow motion

[Keith]

First light that falls on open eyes
scatters into saucers,
settling like silver returning
to the deepest part of black.               like the universe just birthed another life.. black is not allowed to be scary in my read, more like blank and hopeful.. silver resets.

I held that moments careful quiet,                 "moment´s"?
gripped by translucent fingernails           
so small, so imperfectly real.                             
Inhaled your sweet and perfect pale            
that deepened scent of skin revealed.          
My breath spread incantations
that promised you my touch.                love sounds too cheesy, but is what i ´ve read here instead of touch.

The kiss I forged on your forehead
would only let in dreams, tell stories             why "only" in dreams..    but i think i remember a similar poem. you could write "told you stories in your dreams"
of the worlds we’d weave and all
the songs they’ll come to sing.

a precious memory in slow motion

Thanks Vagabond, really pleased by your comments on S1, thanks for the nit on S2, S3 ok but I wanted you to read touch i think its contact here that helps for the bond love would be too soon. This is a rework of another poem so Ill have a think about your suggestion, thanks for commenting, much appreciated keith