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Joined: Jan 2013
Coke Zero
How did we ever survive
without Coke Zero
and it’s impossibly delicious
sweetness
sloshing about in the can,
with no calories
and no fear, at all?
How did we manage
to stay awake all night
furiously masturbating
to the internet girls who
enjoy taking their clothes off
and showing the world
their buttholes?
And how did we ever procreate
without adding
its chemical stamina
to Jack Daniels’ liquid confidence,
all over the bars
and clubs down town?
And how did we force ourselves to work
with the same idiots and the same
sense of absolute disconnection,
day after day after day,
without its cheeky optimism
for moral support?
And how could we possibly
love our friends and families
when inside we’re a seething
cauldron of hate
and anger
and dread?
How did we ever find any meaning
in this world
before we found Coke Zero?
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Joined: Jul 2014
cos we always had "coke zero"?
love the poem.
...
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Joined: May 2014
In our day we had Pepsi Free. - Tasted like ass. How anyone could market Aspartame and sleep at night scares me. At least I've got fluoride on tap.
Enjoyed this Shem,
Paul
Posts: 170
Threads: 53
Joined: Jan 2013
(10-25-2017, 01:48 PM)vagabond Wrote: cos we always had "coke zero"?
love the poem.
exactly. so now, whenever the question of “but what was there before the big bang?” comes up, you’ll have an answer. . . coke zero. and it’ll be there long after the universe is dead.
(10-25-2017, 02:12 PM)Tiger the Lion Wrote: In our day we had Pepsi Free. - Tasted like ass. How anyone could market Aspartame and sleep at night scares me. At least I've got fluoride on tap.
Enjoyed this Shem,
Paul
Pepsi Free! jesus christ, how old are you, man!? but yeah, anything with the word “free” or “diet” in the name generally tastes like a sugar sandwich with tinfoil for bread.
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Posts: 1,568
Threads: 317
Joined: Jun 2011
(10-25-2017, 12:27 PM)shemthepenman Wrote: Coke Zero
How did we ever survive
without Coke Zero
and it’s impossibly delicious *its
sweetness
sloshing about in the can,
with no calories
and no fear, at all?
How did we manage
to stay awake all night
furiously masturbating
to the internet girls who
enjoy taking their clothes off
and showing the world
their buttholes?
And how did we ever procreate
without adding
its chemical stamina
to Jack Daniels’ liquid confidence,
all over the bars
and clubs down town?
And how did we force ourselves to work
with the same idiots and the same
sense of absolute disconnection,
day after day after day,
without its cheeky optimism
for moral support?
And how could we possibly
love our friends and families
when inside we’re a seething
cauldron of hate
and anger
and dread?
How did we ever find any meaning
in this world
before we found Coke Zero?
Thank the Lord God on High for advertising and the nation that gave it to us. All hail.
With each new product comes a civilisation change. We only had the Coke that was "It" back in the days of inflatable Live Savers and snortable donuts. Nobody gave a rat's bleached butthole about BMI or type II diabetes -- not until the era of giving you less, but charging more for it. Fat free. Sugar free. Gluten free. Taste free. All to remind you that with every new freedom from perceived dietary disaster you were chaining yourself tighter to the wheel, and it was headed for a fiery death. If you're lucky, you'll beat cancer and the seizures you get from phenylalanine will keep people interested enough to write a new warning label. But you'll still hate yourself, and you'll still watch the world hating you through the mirror of your television, your computer monitor, your phone, the surveillance cameras we all need to have on the streets so that nobody remembers there's bad shit going down inside people's houses...
Yeah. I don't drink Coke of any kind. Maybe I should, just to fit in.
It could be worse
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Joined: Nov 2011
Loved the poem.
I remember the years of Diet Coke all too well. Drinking it, longing for the taste of real sugar,
knowing it wasn't "the real thing". Then came the summer of 2005... Coke Zero! *
How could this be? A diet coke that tasted like the real thing? I didn't care, I was in love.
12 wonderful years... but only love lasts forever:
"In 2017, despite increasing sales, the Coca-Cola Company announced that Coca-Cola Zero
would be replaced by Coca-Cola Zero Sugar, intended to taste more like standard Coca-Cola."
It doesn't.
*"Coke Zero was originally specifically marketed to young men and described as "calorie-free" rather than "diet" as marketing
surveys had determined that young men associated "diet" drinks with women and so were reluctant to buy them."
-- quotes are from Wikipedia articles on Coke Zero and Coke Zero Sugar
a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions
