Edit 1: Game of Fate

[The Four-Eyed Cat]

Edit 1: 

 
Every week a card is played,
four suits as seasons tell;
seers seeking signs and omens
for soldiers gambling their lives.
Summer hearts bleed for a king’s ideology,
red queens of winter and blood diamonds. 
Spring spades digging trenches and graves of war
for infantry boys, bearing
black clubs, lances and rifles as they fall.
causality cuts lines in fate, 
making kings and commoners equal
in the games of war they partake;
All play with the hand they’re dealt,
only some see the deck shuffled again.


Original:

Every week of the year a card is played,
four suits as the seasons tell.
seers seeking signs and omens
for soldiers gambling their lives.
hearts bleeding for a king’s ideology,
blood red queens and diamonds.
spades digging trenches and graves of war
for infantry boys bearing black clubs, lances and rifles
causality cutting lines and making all equal in fate
kings and commoners playing with the hand they’re dealt
knowing they might not see the deck being shuffled again

[dukealien]

Every week of the year a card is played, here as elsewhere, removing "the" and some other words could aid rhythm at the expense of making the work more explicitly poetic
four suits as the seasons tell. as noted, a colon here would make the rest dependent on the main metaphor (and explain lack of capitalization)
seers seeking signs and omens nice alliteration - note how well this works with no "the"
for soldiers gambling their lives. perhaps semicolons for these periods?
hearts bleeding for a king’s ideology,
blood red queens and diamonds. if you could work in "blood diamonds" this could be contemporary
spades digging trenches and graves of war not to mention latrines - always latrines (g)
for infantry boys bearing black clubs, lances and rifles
causality cutting lines and making all equal in fate perhaps verbs here - "causality cuts..."
kings and commoners playing with the hand they’re dealt as above, perhaps "play" vice "playing"
knowing they might not see the deck being shuffled again concluding line... needs simplifying, and a period IMHO

Must admit, I had difficulty finding a rhythm to read this aloud.  Perhaps in the editing process you could try for something galloping or marching or even zzzzip-bump, zzzzip-bump for cards being cut and dealt.  Just a thought.

Another idea - just a suggestion - would be reference to the simple card game of "War" since most of the references are to that rather than other fated activities.

My main confusion was following the grammar/punctuation.  Replacing the first period with a colon, most of the commas with semicolons, and then a period at the end would fit the capitalization and clarify the structure - for me, anyway.

Other comments above.  It's a good conceit, with appropriate examples given.  One last thought:  the deck is really fifty-four, you know... two Jokers.  What would they be, Christmas and Easter truces that surprise all the generals?

Many comments, but this is a good metaphor that will reward editing.

[The Four-Eyed Cat]

Every week of the year a card is played, here as elsewhere, removing "the" and some other words could aid rhythm at the expense of making the work more explicitly poetic
four suits as the seasons tell. as noted, a colon here would make the rest dependent on the main metaphor (and explain lack of capitalization)
seers seeking signs and omens nice alliteration - note how well this works with no "the"
for soldiers gambling their lives. perhaps semicolons for these periods?
hearts bleeding for a king’s ideology,
blood red queens and diamonds. if you could work in "blood diamonds" this could be contemporary
spades digging trenches and graves of war not to mention latrines - always latrines (g)
for infantry boys bearing black clubs, lances and rifles
causality cutting lines and making all equal in fate perhaps verbs here - "causality cuts..."
kings and commoners playing with the hand they’re dealt as above, perhaps "play" vice "playing"
knowing they might not see the deck being shuffled again concluding line... needs simplifying, and a period IMHO

Must admit, I had difficulty finding a rhythm to read this aloud.  Perhaps in the editing process you could try for something galloping or marching or even zzzzip-bump, zzzzip-bump for cards being cut and dealt.  Just a thought.

Another idea - just a suggestion - would be reference to the simple card game of "War" since most of the references are to that rather than other fated activities.

My main confusion was following the grammar/punctuation.  Replacing the first period with a colon, most of the commas with semicolons, and then a period at the end would fit the capitalization and clarify the structure - for me, anyway.

Other comments above.  It's a good conceit, with appropriate examples given.  One last thought:  the deck is really fifty-four, you know... two Jokers.  What would they be, Christmas and Easter truces that surprise all the generals?

Many comments, but this is a good metaphor that will reward editing.

Thanks for the comments, I'll certainly pick them up and incorporate many of the suggested changes into my edit. 
Regarding your suggestion on the game 'war', it's the first time i've heard of it - so i'll have to do some research on how the game really works (although a quick wikipedia browse already yielded quite some results) and how i should incorporate it.

Regarding the deck being 54, the 'original' decks didn't have them, and many games consider the jokers to be unnecessary cards. It's the excuse i'll be rolling for, since there are 52 weeks in a year and that's the coincidence that made me want to write this poem in the first place 

Also, do you have some suggestions for that last line? as it is really cracking open my skull!

[Richard]

Hey Cat,
I like the overall idea and imagery in this poem. I do have some suggestions though:

Every week of the year a card is played,
four suits as the seasons tell. I like this image, but I would suggest expanding it by explaining which suit goes with each season.
seers seeking signs and omens
for soldiers gambling their lives. -This reminded me of tarot cards. Does the imagery in the rest of the poem borrow from the tarot deck? I don't know much about tarot cards, so may be I'm misreading this.
hearts bleeding for a king’s ideology,
blood red queens and diamonds. -I feel like the image of the diamond is only here because of the card imagery and it doesn't really add much to the line. May be think about expanding it, so it contributes more to the poem.
spades digging trenches and graves of war -I like the use of "spades" here. It creates an effective mental image while also being consistent with your card metaphor.
for infantry boys bearing black clubs, lances and rifles
causality cutting lines and making all equal in fate -May be think about explaining how they are "all equal in fate". I'm not an historian, but I would tend to think kings had a slight advantage over commoners, even on the battlefield (i.e. equipment, training, etc.).
kings and commoners playing with the hand they’re dealt
knowing they might not see the deck being shuffled again -Perhaps change the word "knowing" to something else that conveys more of a feeling (i.e. afraid).

I like what I'm seeing here, and I look forward to reading your next draft.

Cheers,
Richard

[The Four-Eyed Cat]

Thanks Richard! You've certainly given me some valueable pointers!

I wasn't refering to Tarot cards, though. Unfotunately I know too little about them...

[The Four-Eyed Cat]

First edit is up! thanks again for the comments!

@Richard: I hope that with this draft i've explained the 'equal in fate' a bit better by changign the wording.
I liked your suggestion of giving the suits a season (or rather to expand on it), I've managed to fit it in - but i still feel its a bit too rough on the edges, though.