car trip

[digna_sofia]

It's been a while, so forgive the completely sucky poem

this is what I mean
that is to say
move
with force
and anger
and heavy feet

think of a future you're not to meet
and steer the wheel
steer the damn wheel

now choose your street

breathe.

retreat
into metal, cold
sickly and sweet
into stutter
stillness
teeth
defeat.

well shit.

[billy]

the best line for me is 'well shit'

the rest of the poem is great but i love the resignation that line gives that one is totally fucked (excuse the expletive)

while it reads like an out and out crash i take it to be a metaphoric collision.
the last main stanza id for me extremely good.

thanks for the read, call by more often

[addy]

I love how much you were able to pack into such a pared down poem, like raw meat down to the bone. And agree, that last line gave it that extra burst of awesome character. Enjoyed this one

[digna_sofia]

Thank you very much for the comments! Those a really appreciated.