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I take my dog through the woods
and watch her prance.
I play guitar for a crowd
of voices in my head,
and wish I could sing.
I eat my mother's pasta
and laugh at my dad's bad jokes.
I teach my niece to draw stick figures
and write stories about her friends.
I look at the moon through a telescope,
and try to find the American flag.
I drink whiskey 'til I pass out in a gutter.
I collect insects
and display them on my mantle.
I sell insurance.
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Really appreciate this one Mrjames
The list offers a different view to the 'do' each time that though kind of basic in structure 'i_' 'i_' says tons. I so many things, in so many ways, that's no simple question, as often as it's asked and passed.
Peanut butter honey banana sandwiches
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"I drink whiskey 'til I pass out in a gutter." doesn't fit.
maybe
"I drink whiskey and stumble up my steps."
or something else matching the mood of the piece.
And I'd change:
"I play guitar for a crowd
of voices in my head,
and wish I could sing."
to just:
"I play guitar for a crowd
of voices in my head."
But it's quite wonderful no matter which one it is (as well as the poem).
a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions
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The interesting thing about this poem is it could be one person listing what they do or many people telling one main thing they do. Each thing is unique yet relative to common man. The whiskey line might seem funny to some, it is rather surprising and really sticks out in the poem and is sad to me, as I had loved ones who did fall "in the gutter" and suffered broken bones and crushed faces from it. This is an interesting read, a very honest poem.
I take my dog through the woods
and watch her prance.
I play guitar for a crowd
of voices in my head,
and wish I could sing.
I eat my mother's pasta
and laugh at my dad's bad jokes.
I teach my niece to draw stick figures
and write stories about her friends.
I look at the moon through a telescope,
and try to find the American flag.
I drink whiskey 'til I pass out in a gutter.
I collect insects
and display them on my mantle.
I sell insurance.
there's always a better reason to love
Posts: 444
Threads: 285
Joined: Nov 2011
Fall in the gutter? If you really what to make that a sure thing, don't drink alcohol, take a few Quaaludes.
a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions
Posts: 489
Threads: 182
Joined: Jan 2013
Thanks for your thoughts guys, I can see how that line might not fit with the rest.
(05-23-2017, 02:38 AM)rayheinrich Wrote: Fall in the gutter? If you really what to make that a sure thing, don't drink alcohol, take a few Quaaludes.
It also helps to go bowling.
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Joined: Nov 2011
(05-22-2017, 11:18 PM)nibbed Wrote: The interesting thing about this poem is it could be one person listing what they do or many people telling one main thing they do.
Yes! I love that ambiguity.
(05-24-2017, 03:21 AM)Wjames Wrote: (05-23-2017, 02:38 AM)rayheinrich Wrote: Fall in the gutter? If you really what to make that a sure thing, don't drink alcohol, take a few Quaaludes.
It also helps to go bowling.

Never accomplished that, but I can't count the number of times I've managed to do it with my balls.
a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions
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Joined: Oct 2015
Beautiful. Perfectly put.
~ I think I just quoted myself - Achebe