Ice slip

[kolemath]

Up
away
air
no ground
not a bird or plane
but will fall
spinning blur of rise then freeforall
gravity 
pull 
free fall
falling
seconds
but no time long
like a fish drowning in air
no breath
thud bruise bum
down

Up

[just mercedes]

You leave me flat on my back, bruised bum, sore head, staring at the sky, wondering Why? Where is that steady world?

[Achebe]

Up
away
air
no ground
not a bird or plane .... better without the "al
but will fall ...... what is the "but" contradicting? "But  leaf in fall" has punning potential OTOH
spinning blur of rise then freeforall
gravity 
pull 
free fall
falling....one too many "fall"s
seconds
but no time long
like a fish drowning in air.....nice
no breath
thud bruise bum
down

Up

Good 'un

[dukealien]

Brings back memories (good'un indeed).  Running pratfall on demineralized ice, idly noticed that both toes were in sight widely spread at eye level, drew the obvious conclusion and had time to predict, "This is going to hurt."  Correct.  Then get up and continue, to applause of the rest of the waiting or carefully boot-skating crew.  Those were the days.

[nibbed]

kolemath wrote:


Up
away
air
no ground
not a bird or plane
but will fall
spinning blur of rise then freeforall
gravity
pull
free fall
falling
seconds
but no time long
like a fish drowning in air
no breath
thud bruise bum
down

Up



I like your poetry, it is often on the light side
and I appreciate that. It is sort of a
palindrome, too, isn't it? When I saw
bird and plane together I stumbled in my mind
SUPERMAN. But that made it all the more
humorous. I hate slippin' on the ice!

[kolemath]

@mercedes--id be there to pick you up but I didn't like you'd like the sentiment

@achebe and Duke--thaks for you insights, helpful and entertaining as usual

@nibbed--this place helped me realize no one likes an overly emotional poet ha