Posts: 2,602
Threads: 303
Joined: Feb 2017
No matter that a shrill, chill blast
blew dark and hidden through bald crowns,
for through the pricking sleet and snow
a jigging, jolly rhythm flowed.
A distant dance of flickering flame,
glimpsed through steamed up window panes;
comfort in the wintering town,
warm ale, warm friends, at last.
No matter that the house is full
so fiddler's elbows stab and prod.
While feet stamp out the bodran beat,
old men squeeze tight to clear a seat.
Then down on to the throbbing throne
the frozen flop and with a groan
of heart-felt thanks, a smile, a nod,
and wide-spread wave, they wait their pull.
No matter that the air is baking,
breathed ten times before your taking;
No matter that the raised refrain
makes hearing jar and speaking strain;
No matter that the fiddles fly
and nudge and spill ale struggling by;
No matter that it all goes round
and round and round and round and round.
Here we are in steaming heat
singing loudly, stamping feet,
doleful humming through the sad,
cheering all things good and bad.
No matter, we are here and living,
full of music, song, and giving.
The fiddlers play, some tears are shed,
no matter, we will smile in bed.
tectak
Fiddler's night. The Duke, in Ainthorpe, Feb. 2017
Posts: 952
Threads: 225
Joined: Aug 2016
My favorite parts the rhyme scheme, like breathing in and out,
the words are almost dancing themselves
(02-13-2017, 08:51 AM)tectak Wrote: No matter that a shrill, chill blast
blew dark and hidden through bald crowns,
for through the pricking sleet and snow
a jigging, jolly rhythm flowed. Jigging is awkward for me, all the 'r' 'l' and 'w's through this stanza I want to say jiggling
A distant dance of flickering flame,
glimpsed through steamed up window panes;
comfort in the wintering town,
warm ale, warm friends, at last.
No matter that the house is full
so fiddler's elbows stab and prod.
While feet stamp out the bodran beat,
old men squeeze tight to clear a seat.
Then down on to the throbbing throne
the frozen flop and with a groan
of heart-felt thanks, a smile, a nod,
and wide-spread wave, they wait their pull.
No matter that the air is baking,
breathed ten times before your taking;
No matter that the raised refrain
makes hearing jar and speaking strain;
No matter that the fiddles fly
and nudge and spill ale struggling by;
No matter that it all goes round
and round and round and round and round.appropriate repetition, no matter
Here we are in steaming heat
singing loudly, stamping feet,
doleful humming through the sad,
cheering all things good and bad.
No matter, we are here and living,
full of music, song, and giving.
The fiddlers play, some tears are shed,
no matter, we will smile in bed.
tectak
Fiddler's night. The Duke, in Ainthorpe, Feb. 2017
Fun read thanks!
Peanut butter honey banana sandwiches
Posts: 2,602
Threads: 303
Joined: Feb 2017
(02-14-2017, 03:07 AM)CRNDLSM Wrote: My favorite parts the rhyme scheme, like breathing in and out,
the words are almost dancing themselves
(02-13-2017, 08:51 AM)tectak Wrote: No matter that a shrill, chill blast
blew dark and hidden through bald crowns,
for through the pricking sleet and snow
a jigging, jolly rhythm flowed. Jigging is awkward for me, all the 'r' 'l' and 'w's through this stanza I want to say jiggling
A distant dance of flickering flame,
glimpsed through steamed up window panes;
comfort in the wintering town,
warm ale, warm friends, at last.
No matter that the house is full
so fiddler's elbows stab and prod.
While feet stamp out the bodran beat,
old men squeeze tight to clear a seat.
Then down on to the throbbing throne
the frozen flop and with a groan
of heart-felt thanks, a smile, a nod,
and wide-spread wave, they wait their pull.
No matter that the air is baking,
breathed ten times before your taking;
No matter that the raised refrain
makes hearing jar and speaking strain;
No matter that the fiddles fly
and nudge and spill ale struggling by;
No matter that it all goes round
and round and round and round and round.appropriate repetition, no matter
Here we are in steaming heat
singing loudly, stamping feet,
doleful humming through the sad,
cheering all things good and bad.
No matter, we are here and living,
full of music, song, and giving.
The fiddlers play, some tears are shed,
no matter, we will smile in bed.
tectak
Fiddler's night. The Duke, in Ainthorpe, Feb. 2017
Fun read thanks!
Thanks for this CRND. The jigging is necessary as the music was a jig not a jiggle 
Posts: 9
Threads: 1
Joined: Feb 2017
No matter that a shrill, chill blast
blew dark and hidden through bald crowns,
for through the pricking sleet and snow
a jigging, jolly rhythm flowed.
A distant dance of flickering flame,
glimpsed through steamed up window panes;
comfort in the wintering town,
warm ale, warm friends, at last…. This line breaks the rhythm of the piece. I feel it could be removed and used at the end instead.
No matter that the house is full
so fiddler's elbows stab and prod.
While feet stamp out the bodran beat,
old men squeeze tight to clear a seat.
Then down on to the throbbing throne <-- I’m not quite sure what’s happening here…>
the frozen flop and with a groan
of heart-felt thanks, a smile, a nod,
and wide-spread wave, they wait their pull.
No matter that the air is baking,
breathed ten times before your taking;
No matter that the raised refrain
makes hearing jar and speaking strain;
No matter that the fiddles fly
and nudge and spill ale struggling by;
No matter that it all goes round
and round and round and round and round.
Here we are in steaming heat
singing loudly, stamping feet,
doleful humming through the sad,
cheering all things good and bad.
No matter, we are here and living,
full of music, song, and giving.
The fiddlers play, some tears are shed,
no matter, we will smile in bed.
What a fun rollicking jig. It’s vivid, and easy to imagine the scene. (except for the throne, frozen flop, and pull, which went over my head). You lost the rhythm in some lines near the end, and there is a bit of confusion-- is it baking heat, or, further down, steaming? I also think your last line takes me out of the action too abruptly and could be better.
All in all I enjoyed reading, and thinking about this. Well done, thank you.
Posts: 15
Threads: 4
Joined: Feb 2017
Loved this rythmical read!
(02-13-2017, 08:51 AM)tectak Wrote: No matter that a shrill, chill blast
blew dark and hidden through bald crowns,
for through the pricking sleet and snow
a jigging, jolly rhythm flowed.
A distant dance of flickering flame,
glimpsed through steamed up window panes;
comfort in the wintering town, possibly too many commas here; i felt it could use a colon as if warm ale, friends were a result of the town.
warm ale, warm friends, at last.
No matter that the house is full
so fiddler's elbows stab and prod.
While feet stamp out the bodran beat,
old men squeeze tight to clear a seat.
Then down on to the throbbing throne
the frozen flop and with a groan
of heart-felt thanks, a smile, a nod,
and wide-spread wave, they wait their pull.
No matter that the air is baking,
breathed ten times before your taking; loved how you word this explanation; it adds interest
No matter that the raised
makes hearing jar and speaking strain;
No matter that the fiddles fly
and nudge and spill ale struggling by;
No matter that it all goes round
and round and round and round and round.
Here we are in steaming heat on second thought I also think steaming doesnt fit here, since earlier you used baking. Maybe something to continue the same effect, drying, roasting, parching...
singing loudly, stamping feet,
doleful humming through the sad,
cheering all things good and bad.
No matter, we are here and living,
full of music, song, and giving.
The fiddlers play, some tears are shed, It seems a period after shed would give more impact on closing.
no matter, we will smile in bed.
tectal
Fiddler's night. The Duke, in Ainthorpe, Feb. 2017
All in all this is really great in my opinion!
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