ADD, OCD, BPD, PTSD (edit)

[CRNDLSM]

ADD, OCD, BPD, PTSD (edit)

Can you get my medicine?               
I have to study, proof                 
read my paper? Please?    
Drunken recall works! No,
I'm learning.
You're helping me.
Make me some pasta with this?
Not good on an empty stomach.
I have to study,
can you get my medicine?

I love you.
We'll get through this.

No one will love you like I do.
Put it in my mouth.
I like it,
use both of them.
Hold it right there.  I said
put it in my mouth.
Don't move it! Right,
right, right there.
I wish I had a whole room of you.
No one will love you like I do.

It's just the stress.
You weren't always like this.
Things will get better.

You made me do this!
Who is she?
Who is she?! Confess
your undying love for her! 
I'll murder her! Tell me
her name! Is it Beth?
Don't run away from me! I'll scream
rape! Rape! They'll
wonder about my bruises.
You made me do this!

This is because of Andy.
Oh my God just stop, please!
I'm in way over my head.

Tell me a bedtime story.
Just talk to me
until I fall asleep.  
You know that wasn't me right?
I can't make it
without you.  I don't know
what I would ever do without you.
I feel safe with you.
Thank you for loving me,
tell me a bedtime story.

How do I leave
before you actually kill me?


PTSD, DID, OCD, ADD (original)

Can you get my medicine?               
I have to study, proof                 
read my paper? Please?     
Drunken recall works! No,
I'm learning.
You're helping me.
Make me some pasta with this?
Not good on an empty stomach.
I have to study,
can you get my medicine?

No one will love you like I do.
Put it in my mouth.
I like it,
use both of them.
Hold it right there.  I said
put it in my mouth.
Don't move it! Right,
right, right there.
I wish I had a whole room of you.
No one will love you like I do.

You made me do this!
Who is she?
Who is she?! Confess
your undying love for her! 
I'll murder her! Tell me
her name! Is it Beth?
Don't run away from me! I'll scream
rape! Rape! They'll
wonder about my bruises.
You made me do this!

Tell me a bedtime story.
Just talk to me
until I fall asleep.  
You know that wasn't me right?
I can't make it
without you.  I don't know
what I would ever do without you.
I feel safe with you.
Thank you for loving me,
tell me a bedtime story.

[Erthona]

CRNDLSM,

I was a counselor for over twenty years and I never once saw a case of non- clinically induced MPD or DID as you call it here (I guess it became to stigmatized). it seems more what you are describing is Borderline personality disorder. I would suggest if you wanted to explain all of these distinct disorders you might wish to turn to prose to give you the room to explore the necessary personality types and how they interact to one another. which I can only assume is what you are doing.

Best,


dale

[Lizzie]

Crundle, I don't see how the disorders you mention have anything to do with the poem. Additionally, ADHD (while it's in the DSM for identification purposes) is not a disorder but just a different way of being human, same as autism.

The sonics of the title are good, but misleading.

Dale is right that what you are describing does sound more like BPD, yet there's elements of NPD too. It's very muddled. It's not a clear picture of any one disorder, which makes it read like some kind of disordered personality that's difficult to label. Which is fine, there's really no need for labels pe se, but then I would recommend changing the title because it begs for folks like me to come along and tut and fuss.

The fact that it's in four stanzas makes me think you're trying to address one disorder per stanza, but I don't see the connections between the stanzas and the disorders. Although, in the final stanza, it is true that a lot of ADHDers need some kind of low-level stimulation like a story, a podcast, music, or quiet tv in the background in order to sleep. That bit rings true.

Hope this helps some.

Best to you!

Lizzie

[CRNDLSM]

Thank you for the feedback, I was thinking some things are better left unwritten.  As for the title, all diagnosis are for one person, affecting them at the same time.  I had to sit in on a session with the doctor and this person, and always thought he was taking advantage of the persons sickness, which was very real, probably misdiagnosed.  Maybe I should have included what the trauma was somewhere that kind of spurned the rest.  
So this poem takes place with drastic personality changes within one evening.  I was reluctant to add ADD because I don't really want to acknowledge it at all, having been told my whole life I am,  but medicine is given for it, put on some alcohol and experience all these disorders, the real psychosis as I was aware of it, come out in full force.  I wanted 13 letters in the title, and four scenes, and shock value, thought it all fit together fairly nicely if it is abhorrent.

So I should either change the title because it leaves the reader wanting what isn't there, or change the story to explore each part of the title in more detail...

Not sure I should pursue this one, thank you again!

[Lizzie]

Seems like the girl's insides are a mystery, and her diagnoses don't make much sense either. Therefore, you have a very confusing poem.

You could improve this piece by focusing on the speaker's experience -- what is it like for the speaker to be in her presence, to see the chaos unfold, to not know what's happening? Afraid? Sad? Repulsed? Confused? Aroused? Just trying to get you thinking.