L. P. Lake
#1
I had a really religious friend used to say when it's thundering God's playing bowling /, when it's raining real hard it means God's got big balls. /. I said Balls have nothing to do with pissing. He said / . I woke up to sirens Thursday morning, that was Thanksgiving. I woke up to sirens Thursday morning, the sun was shining right in my eye through the window, and when I stepped outside it was pouring down raining and the sun was shining bright. My sister was giving me a ride. I said, I heard all these sirens this morning and stepped outside, and the sun was shining and it was pouring down raining. : . The Devil must be beating his wife.

I went with my friend's moma, and dad. To the lake where they stayed when my friend's grandma, his dad's mom was still living. / It was snowing that day. And the sun was out / and I said When it's raining and the sun's out the Devil's beating his wife, / when it's snowing and the sun's out, the Devil's beating his meat.

I said that / and it was recorded on video VHS tape. And my friend asked me, while we were looking at the old electricity meter / on my house, if I heard that somewhere or just made it up / , because he remembered hearing it when I said it when he was recording it. / And he changed the subject, and we didn't say anything. And we were in the car and had the radio on.

L. P. Lake is what me and my friends used to call Elkhorn Lake when going there Saturday morning after buying records at the Saturday open only record store in town.* The siren I heard on Thursday morning this year was from an ambulance going to pick up my granddad who has a heart attack or is in some critical state and needs the rescue squad to come pick him up a bunch of times every few months or so.**
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#2
Hi, Ro. I really like the dark humor of 'when it's raining' God and the devil are doing this and that. Good subversion of common phrases/cliches.

There are far too many indulgently long lines, and I have no idea how or why this is in short form which is about condensing down to the bare minimum. Unless it's here ironically.....

It could be a nice scene study if you would just pare it down.

All the same: enjoyed it, and all the best to you.

lizziep
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#3
momma

moma is an abbreviation for "Museum of Modern Art"

Nice tangential study of malapropism of religious folklore.

dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?

The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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#4
How many songs? How many songs? All of this feels like stuff I've heard before, or should have heard before -- "and we were in the car and had the radio on" reminds me of the song Roadrunner, and everything else, everything else. How did I miss this? Lovely work.
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#5
I wrote this from simple personal memory. The music was Creedence Clearwater Revival and a Beatles Best of album. Mama is spelled anyway a man wants. And my granddad, who has dementia, is present of mind to have a heartattack on the morning or afternoon of each major hoilday. So there's some semblance of something going on.

There were mostly commericials, and changing of stations, and mainly there was a Rolling Stones song on. I'd forgotten what I wrote. On the way to the lake it was CCR and The Beatles, the part where I actually mention the radio it was commercials, The Rolling Stones and some 90s song, The Screaming Trees or The Meat Puppets. I think it was The Meat Puppets that goes, And when I wake up in the morning . . .

And to answer Lizzie's question about short form: it's because it took a short time to form it. I just was writing what I know. It wasn't as short in space as short in time. Short time form.
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#6
please post longer poems elsewhere. this is the short "form" not the 'short time to form it' forum. i like the writing
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#7
When I started writing it I didn't plan on it being so long, and when I was done writing it it was hard to believe that it was so long.
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